I am naturally a private person and do not share a lot of my personal life. Frankly, it is not all that interesting. I do think it is important to be transparent on any and everything regarding aging. Let’s talk about Why are we so Secretive about Having Work Done. I had a lower face and neck lift five weeks ago, by Dr. Douglas Sunde, and I am very happy with the results.
Let me tell you a little bit about my history first. As a child, I was badly burned (3rd degree) over ⅓ of my body. I wasn’t expected to live but I did. I have lived with severe scarring on my right side since the age of two. There were times in my life that were difficult, particularly during puberty. Fortunately, I grew up in a small town that embraced and encouraged me every step of the way. For that reason, there will always be a special place in my heart for that little town and the people that protected and molded me. That journey has definitely influenced me as a person, both good and bad. I am strong, perhaps to a fault. My mom did her best . I think she thought if she dressed me prettier than the other girls that would compensate for my scars, rather deal with it emotionally. My dad on the other hand said, “Cindy you can either make the best of it and be happy and try to understand why people say things, or you can be miserable”. Quite simply I decided to be happy.
Don’t I look like a happy little camper here? Lake of the Ozarks circa 1960? Check out the architecture!
We grew up on a lake swimming and skiing all day and into the night. I was a fairly good skier as a young girl. There was no hiding the scars. I was a cheerleader in high school and we had to wear miniskirts. I was accustomed to staring but instead of making a big deal out of it, I tried to make others feel more comfortable. I had a busy social life, plenty of boyfriends, and a solid childhood, in spite of having a somewhat troubled mother. As a child, I spent way too much time in the sun and in puberty had bouts with acne which of course vastly affected the condition of my skin.
The main drag of my little town. You might enjoy reading this post I wrote when I first began blogging about my little town here.
Here I am way too tanned at my lifelong friend’s wedding. Don’t you love our outfits.? I think I was channeling Liz Taylor in Cleopatra.
I grew up and fortunately married a very supportive husband. His words to me were you have saved the money. Do it if it makes you feel good. Our wedding circa 1975.
As women, we struggle with all sorts of contradictory societal messages regarding aging. There seems to be a disconnect between how we look and how we feel. I think we have a right to be attractive and happy with the way we look.
A few years ago I began noticing the acne scars looking like divots on a golf course and the “turkey neck” and saggy jowls becoming more prominent. I never dreamed that I would ever consider having plastic surgery. I guess I never thought I would look 20 years older than I felt either. I have had two hip replacements. Before I had the first one I was actually using a cane. That was a bit rough. I have always been very strong and active. I recovered quickly and moved on after both. Growing up with the burn scars was something I could not control, but I thought to myself, this is something I can control. Why do I want to look years older than I feel? Right before the onset of covid, I contacted a local plastic surgeon, Dr. Sunde, in Monterey, who I had heard many good things about. I was still hesitating. Was I feeling shameful and undeserving? Probably. I had Fraxel laser surgery to improve the divets and scars. It did improve it somewhat but nothing that I was thrilled with. For some reason going public about plastic surgery has always been hush hush. Many people are having work done, but still very few discuss it. Designer Marc Jacobs boldly posted this picture of himself day 1 on Instagram drains and all.
I think we as women should be able to own our personal choices. I remember when Betty Ford spilled the beans about having plastic surgery I had nothing but respect for her. I didn’t discuss my decision about having plastic surgery with anyone except my immediate family. I didn’t want to be influenced by others’ opinions. I know many of you may be considering cosmetic surgery and other procedures. I am constantly asked to discuss them. I considered not talking about it, but to me, it just seemed disingenuous. I hope this blog is a place where we can be honest with each other by sharing the struggles and triumphs of being middle-aged women.
We all are different. What works for some of us doesn’t for others. I wish I had taken care of my skin and not abused it. Will I start wearing Spanx, crop tops, and high heels? Of course not. I have gray hair, I am 67 years old. I am happy to be a grandma. I am not interested in looking 40 or 50. I simply want to look as good as I feel.
Thank you for reading Why are we so Secretive about Having Work Done. I found this article from In Style-Why It is Time to Let go of Plastic Surgery Stigma, the best I have read on the subject. I am anxious to hear your feelings. Let’s talk.
EDITOR’S NOTE: I did have a lower face and neck lift five weeks ago. I am very happy with the results and do not regret it. Sorry that I was not more clear about that. I will do a follow-up post on the actual surgery and recovery next Tuesday for those who are interested. Dr. Sunde has graciously agreed to answer any questions that you have.
To each his own in some ways. But I also feel in the bigger picture, that each time a woman makes the decision to fight aging with cosmetic surgery in some ways it kicks the rest of us to the curb. At least those of us who can’t afford it or prefer to age naturally. The comaraderie is lost with those who do it, and those who don’t, so to speak. In a sense it’s like running a race with our peers, and the ones who didn’t want to continue the way they are, drop out and settle for cosmetic alterations. You’re in a different race now and one that no longer supports their common circle of women aging together. Just my view. This could be one reason it’s not talked about openly, because it’s like cheating.
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I have many friends who will never need or want it. I have some who I know have had work done but we never talk about it. I don’t feel any different about those who have done it and those who don’t. They are my friends and they have their reasons for whatever their decision may be. I am glad that you felt comfortable sharing your feelings. There was a time in my life I may have felt the same way perhaps. The older I get the more accepting I have become of people who think differently than I. I think we are all women and we should support each other for each other’s decisions even if we may not agree with them. We can all learn from each other, so thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this Cindy. I have thought so often but terrified of the process. And I have heard so many good reports about Dr Sunde. I am looking forward to the details. I think its awesome that you did this for the reasons that you did.
Hi Linda
I was too! I would highly recommend Dr. Sunde. He is extremely conscientious, competent, and also a very nice man. His staff and the entire office are also very professional. Email me anytime if you have any questions. I am doing a follow up post on the entire process on Tuesday. Thanks for commenting.
I certainly agree with Diane Keaton, never say never…. I have been contemplating a lower neck lift, maybe it’s my job. I am around so many younger women all the time. I think you look beautiful and very natural. I wish my hair would go silver as beautiful as yours did. I unfortunately have that old lady looking gray hair, so I guess I’m still dying it for now! Thanks for the great conversation starter in your blog. I too had pimples growing up, and the dermatologist used to put us under sun lamps… I wonder what they think of that treatment nowadays. Looking forward to finding out more information of your surgery
Hi Martha
I think that was part of it for me as well. Having to see pictures of myself all the time and see myself on zoom was getting to be so depressing! Oh my god your derm prescribed sunlamp treatments as well. I am just waiting for the skin cancer! So far only one and not on the face.
Hi Cindy, I had my neck lift done 5 years ago and have not looked back!!! I am 65. Congrats Girl!!!! Enjoy it to the MAX! Can’t wait to see the before and after pics.
Hi Debbie
Thank you. I am so glad I did it and thank you for weighing in. I am so glad so many of us feel free to talk about it.
Cindy – thanks for your honesty. I had “work” done 15 months ago, breast reduction surgery I have wanted since I was 18 years old. My surgeon laughed that I had waited 40 years, and I sure wish I had done it sooner. But now I am so happy to have had the surgery. It has made a world of difference to me. I was terrified about having elective surgery, and now consider a bit of work on my face as well. I never ever talk about it, and thank you for your honesty and bravery – but that’s you!!
Hi Lisa
Thank you for sharing as well. I wish I hadn’t waited so long either. Hopefully, speaking more openly about it will make it easier for all of us. It’s really funny before I had my two hip replacements I too feared any sort of elective surgery. Now I feel like bring it on!
Hi Cindy, I’m new to your blog by a week or so and am happy to see this subject. I’m 69 and had a neck, lower facelift and blepharoplasty in 2017 after years of wanting to take the leap. I too had the full support of my husband who didn’t think I needed it and now loves the results. I had total faith in my plastic surgeon whom I felt completely understood my wishes for a rested look, nothing drastic. I’m so glad that I did it, especially about my neck. I don’t mind talking about it, close friends and family knew about it and a neighbor was so complimentary that I told her and wouldn’t be surprised if other neighbors now also know, but I don’t really care now that it’s behind me, I’m glad to share my experience. Last year I had a lip lift on my upper lip on the recommendation of my surgeon and love the results of that too. I understand that people might be afraid of the surgery, but if you have been thinking about this as long as I did, I would encourage you to at least see a plastic surgeon (board certified) and at least have a conversation. Also look on websites of surgeons, many times they have before and after by age groups and you get a sense of the results from that surgeon. Again, Thanks for being open about this Cindy.
Hi Nancy
It is done. I already did it. I am sorry I wasn’t clear about that. I will talk more about it on Tuesday. I am very happy with the results. By the way welcome. We are so happy you are here!
Appreciate your transparency. Hope you’re truly pleased with results. Last year I had front teeth capped after years of hiding teeth when I smile. Also had a bunion job which I’d left for far too many years. I did these for ‘me’, with husband’s full support.
As you wrote, you weren’t channeling Barbie, but wanted to be your best self. As we Aussies say, ‘Good on ‘ya.’
Hi Cimmie
I love the Aussie quote! I have a bunion that will need to be taken care of one of these days. I would love to hear how that went!
Cindy, I have always admired you and your great blog, It took courage to write this post with so much honesty , and look at all the amazing supportive comments! I am 71 and have been thinking about getting a neck lift for so long. This post was perfect timing. I have had several surgeries, none being elective. I have two bionic hips like you. However, I’ve been afraid of the “face lift”. Mainly worried about the pain and if the outcome will be natural. You have encouraged me to move forward on this. I do want to hear all about your experience in the next post. Thanks so much for sharing!
Hi Karen
My granddaughter didn’t notice if that is any indication. I babysat with her all day on week 4. My husband was sure she would notice…nope!
I can not thank you enough for sharing this. People have no idea what you are walking through. Your Dad was so right. I wish I could meet him. I hope you do share more. I am very interested. My sister and I both are late 60’s and we have finally figured out how to lose weight and keep it off. I only wish I knew 30 years ago what I know now. We have talked about having our chins and necks done. I have my Mother’s turkey neck. We are from a very small town and have no one to talk to about this. Not even our doctor. I’m so excited for you. And can not wait to hear the rest of your story.
Hi Peggy
Thank you so much for your kind comment. I hope you can find the help and information you need. Feel free to send me a private email if you are uncomfortable bein so public I would be happy to help any way I can.
Thank you for being kind and brave enough to share your story. I think it’s so important for women to support other women and by opening up you are giving others the strength to do something important for themselves as well. You are beautiful inside and out, before and after! You’ve certainly given me something to think about. I will look forward to hearing more about this journey. Heck, you may have given me the “permission” I need.
Hi Joan
I so agree with we all need to bring each other up instead of dragging each other down. We each make our own decisions and we should be supported for that. This blog is now my job. I can’t tell you how rewarding it is to engage with so many talented, intelligent and stylish women. I am a lucky girl.
I absolutely loved this post! I will be 63 in April and am considering some work done I look in the mirror and wonder what happened to me inside and out I am not the fun loving person I use to be. I was very outgoing always saw the fun times in everything. I lost a daughter in a car accident when she was 17 she would now be 42 you never get over that. If it had not been for my younger daughter I don’t think I would have recovered she kept me going. I now have twin grandsons who will be 3 in March! They are my life! I also am a caregiver to my mother who lives with us it is very hard I never thought I would be doing this . So sorry for telling you my life story all this to say all the stress takes a toll on a woman my face and body I feel very old. I will eventually have something done I think it is great that we have the opportunity to make us feel beautiful! Thank you so much I love all of your post you are absolutely Beautiful then and now!
Hi Teresa
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child and the toll it would take on you. And then to be taking care of your mother. My mother lived an hour and a half away and had failing health. She was a difficult woman (very strong but very difficult). I had to hire care givers to take care of her (they were wonderful), but once a week I drove down and stayed 24 hours to relieve them. My sister was an alcoholic so could not help in any way. When she died and left us a little money I saved for this. I thought I earned it after that. That was several years ago, but I knew I had it if I decided to do it. I encourage you to do something for yourself. It takes it’s toll on you. I cared for my dad as well. He lived in an independent living facility but in the end came to our home, again no help from my sister as she couldn’t care for herself. It does take it’s toll. Put the money in a bank account and save it. You deserve it girl!
Thank you so much for the inspiration and the thoughtful words!
Hi Teresa
Of course keep me posted.
Cindy, Congrats! You might as well do what makes you happy. Why not! You have always been so confident and outgoing since I have known you starting in 9th grade. Your personality made anyone overlook your scarring and it didn’t stop you from achieving anything you wanted. You have always had great style. I’m so happy for you! You look fabulous!
Hi old pal
Thanks Karen for always being such a great friend. You guys need to come visit!
Bravo my friend- I’m there with you! I thought I’d never consider it and I totally agree with you in doing what I want to make me take the edge off of aging. I guess I’d never considered it cause I was never this old!( 69 this year) I’m doing the laser resurfacing in 2 weeks for a start and getting my eyelids done. Looking forward to this journey with you and thank you for your honesty and transparency- I have nothing but admiration for you and kudos for your bravery. Love you!
Hi Nancy
Let me know how the laser goes. I think I will need to be more aggressive with that. I still have the lines around the mouth and the scarring. Isn’t it expensive getting old? Ha! Good luck and keep us posted.
Wow. So jealous!!!! I’ve always thought you were beautiful but now you’re going to be gorgeous!!!!!! But. I must say I had no idea about your past. I feel so bad for that little Cindy.
Love me!
Hi Joni
I only looked good in pictures far away trust me. It was pretty scary up close! Little Cindy survived and had a happy life in spite of the burns!
Thank you for sharing your story. I look forward to your next blog! I’m just itching to get that surgery done! I hate that my jawbone is disappearing. The aging process really ramps up in your 60’s. Ugh! Cindy, you have the most beautiful, infectious smile!
Hi Susan
Isn’t that an interesting point? My surgeon said to me you don’t have much of a chin and I thought hmmmm I never thought about it. I looked at my old pictures and thought oh my he is right!
Cannot wait to read your follow up on Tuesday, because I want to do exactly what you have done! I believe in doing what makes us feel good about ourselves. I don’t care about looking younger, just looking “rested”, as they say! You are beautiful, talented, and a true inspiration for us. And when I see pics of you, I have some serious hair envy!
Hi Lisa
I told my surgeon I did not want to look like Barbie, I just didn’t want to look old and angry. I am sure he has heard that many times before. Thank you for the comment about my hair. I think it has been almost ten years now. I think my mom’s hair was darker than mine when she died in her late 80’s.
Good Evening Cindy, I just finished reading your post. I was busy baking all morning and preparing for my hubby’s birthday tomorrow.
I have really enjoyed you opening up and sharing so much of yourself and your personal journey as a young child experiencing such serious burns and scarring. From my personal experience when you do not grow up having everything close to ideal on many levels that can build such strong and determined character and a up beat positive personality. It’s not always the case. Look at YOU and what you have made of your life. It’s so important you have such a great supportive hubby, and a close in mesh family.
I am over joyed that your facial surgery went so well., and you are healing nicely. It sounds like you will have the “the rested look” when you have completely recovered. When I see your pictures on your blog modeling clothes the first thing I always say to myself, “Cindy has such a beautiful genuine smile and your style is so fabulous.”. The other big gift is you feel so good, that is the best gift of all is you have good health at your age.
I live in AZ and want to share with Carolyn
Lassonde two names of plastic surgeons that have good reputations:
AliM Mosharrafa MD
Tamir M. Mosharrafa MD Both are brothers.
Mosharrafa Plastic Surgery
4622 E. Shea Blvd. Ste 230
Phoenix, 602-513/8133
I suggest you see Ali he does face and body
Tamir does face only.
I can give you another name, this is a good place to start. Good luck to you.
Cindy, take care of yourself. So looking forward to visiting with you next Tuesday.
Giving you a big virtual hug 🤗 from Arizona.
Hi Katherine
Happy Birthday to your hubby and thank you for sharing the names of the surgeons. Thank you for your kind words regarding character building. It has definitely gotten me through some difficult periods in my life.
I have one to share too…thanks, Cindy, for being so open and inviting. When I was 64 I went to U.C.L.A. for cosmetic surgery. I had a brow lift, for sure, no eye area correction needed, forehead lift, face, and my neck was lifted (do not remember) but I have scars in my hair line above my ears. I was still working, and, like others, wanted to look fresher, not tired.
The surgeon did a good job as it looked natural, and I only told a few friends from work and family. I still get compliments that I look much younger and I have worn sunscreen since I was 44 when a pre cancer spot was biopsied. The surgeon at UCLA quizzed me about former facial surgeries, and even felt all over my hairline for scars so I think that I just have good genes, and oily skin, also helps.
About age 65 I had a CO-2 laser treatment by the derm doc for the deep wrinkles on my upper lip and that treatment was the best money I spent as now, 17 years later, still no sign of a wrinkle there.
Hi J
I think we need to do another post on laser treatments. I will have the scar along my hairline as well. Who cares! I love your story!
You are an outstanding lady. Whatever plastic surgery you have does not lessen who you are. Talking openly about it just proves how comfortable you are with who you are. I had rhinoplasty in my twenties. I am now 74. It was one of the best things I have ever done for my self image and I have never regretted it.
Hi Carmie
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I think all of these comments have helped so many women.
Hi Cindy,
Thanks for sharing! When I saw pictures of myself from my daughter’s graduation from college I said “That’s It” I’m having plastic surgery! I went to a very good doctor and had my eyes done, a chin implant and a very deep peel because I had a face full of big dark brown freckles (or as the doctor’s say – skin damage).
That was 12 years ago and I still get complements on my skin. I am a private person also, did share with my family and a few close friends. I didn’t want to look younger, I just wanted to look better. Took a while to recover from the peel, but it was the best thing I ever did.
Hi Laura
Thank you so much for sharing. We all are living much more active and fuller lives now. Why should we be ashamed of wanting to look as good as we feel. I am so thankful to all of you amazing women who have shared your stories. I am in awe
Cindy, thank you for sharing this personal story. Many of us have scars (not all are visible) or things we don’t like about our appearance. It helps to hear your heartfelt story. Thank you, also, for your kind words about the supportive people of your small hometown. I live in Logansport and I feel the same about my little town. Hugs, neighbor!
Lisa
Hi Lisa
You may know Lisa Terry. I know she is very active in your community. Her sister Paula and I were friends in grade school. I am so happy some of my Indiana friends follow my blog. Keep commenting Lisa. This is a wonderful community of women. The credit goes to them I am just their ambassador so to speak!!
Cindy!!!!
Lisa Terry is a friend of mine, and we have served on several projects together, as well as worked together at our local radio station. Paula and I graduated from Logansport High School in 1973. I have known them for over 50 years! What a small, small world. Blown away…
P.S. Was the restaurant in Zionsville that you spoke of in an earlier comment Trader’s Point Creamery?
Hi Lisa
Well tell her hello! You graduated the same year as I. Paula and Lisa lived in Monticello before they moved to Logansport, as I am sure you know. Lisa was in my husband’s class in high school and I get to see her every once in awhile at the reunions. I haven’t seen Paula in years. And yes that certainly was the restaurant. I could not remember the name. What a fun place!
Cindy—
Thank you for this post. I wish women were more open about this subject. I know some people are definitely pro or con but I bet the majority consider doing some kind of work. I know I have. So glad you are happy with the results!
Hi Carol
Thank you so much for sharing. I think it gives everyone confidence to move forward if that is what they want.
Dear Cindy,
It took me awhile to scroll through and read all the comments! You really hit a chord with the women, who read your blog.
I’m sorry you went through the trauma of being burned and the scarring. Life is so hard sometimes.But it only served to make you who you are, and you amaze me with your strength, style and humor. Your Dad said the right things to you!
I would love to have the courage to have a bunch of “work” done. But sadly I am one of those people who has weird allergies, and I’m also fearful of surgery. I know, I’m a big baby. Maybe one day I’ll grow out of my fears and then I’ll want the name of your Dr! You’ve always looked beautiful to me Cindy. I’m glad you followed your heart and made the decision. Although you don’t owe anyone an explanation or excuse to do what you want for yourself, thank you for your honesty and for sharing your story.
Xo Heidi
Oh dear Cindy,
You are amazing! So many of us are at this point, wondering whether we should or whether we should not. I know from reading your blog as long as I have that you did not make this decision on a whim. Thank you for sharing. I know this was not an easy decision. I completely support you in whatever YOU decide. It’s not for me, it’s for YOU! Your experience and your honest results are SO valuable for us to see. You give us information for making our own informed decisions. Thank you so much for being so open. Kathy
Cindy, I’ve started and stopped and started and stopped my comments again and again. Adequate words fail me. Suffice to say, I feel this is such an important discussion and I could not admire you more. xo
Ahhh Juliet you are the best. I think it is the comments and sharing here, more than anything I said. We don’t need to be silent. There is a lot of power in the spoken word.
Oh Cindy this is so wonderful! You absolutely ROCK! K
Hi Karen
Thanks so much pal!
*Delores
Thank you for sharing Cindy. You look amazing! I am toying with the idea of having my eyes done. I hate my dark circles and bags. It’s all I see when I look in the mirror. Our son is getting married in July so that’s my incentive. I’m looking forward to hearing about your surgery and how you did with it. You are inspiring me to go for it. Turning 68 in three days so now is the time to go for it!
Hi Delores
I had forgotten that you and I are the same age. You look so great for your age (although I haven’t seen you in a while). We should fix that!! It sounds like the wedding is just the inspiration that you need. I spoke with my friend (local) yesterday that had the same thing done yesterday. She had it done a few years ago and is so happy she did.
What you had done is the only “work” I’ve ever considered. Seeing myself in profile is so disheartening. I’m anxious to read next week’s post. Thank you so much for sharing. Clearly, many of us are interested!
Hi Sarah
That is how I felt. I just thought how can I feel so young and look like this? I am so grateful for all of you that are so supportive. More on Tuesday.
Hi Sarah
I totally understand what you are saying. I was having the same issues seeing myself in pictures, videos and especially zoom…yikes!
Cindy, I was so surprised to hear of your burns when you were younger. I am sorry you had to deal with that, but your positive attitude and your brilliant smile makes everyone notice you instead of your challenges. When I was three years old I cut off the tip of my index finger in a car door. I also struggled from a very bad overjet and overbite before braces. This corrective procedure and how it improved my appearance led me to become a dental hygienist 44 years ago. Adolescence can be tough. You went on to compensate for these challenges beautifully. Just as braces improved my life, I feel any other procedure that makes you happier with how you feel about yourself has value.
Thank you, Susan. I should probably tell all of those that are new here that I never intended to do fashion. My intention was to always stay behind the camera. Once I realized this was a favorite part of the blog, I was doomed to “model”. I am thankful to all of you for supporting me. I have never considered myself a fashionista in any sense of the word. The key here is we are a community of vibrant women who want to look our best and be our best selves. Any way I can help by being transparent hopefully helps all of us.
Hi Susan
Thank you so much. Isn’t it interesting how life’s curveballs can end up being a positive. I so feel that my burns have influenced me in ways that are both good and bad. I am pretty tough to a fault, but I have learned with age to lighten up a bit fortunately. I love your story.
yay cindy! and can’t wait for your share. i’m conscious/self conscious about certain details. i have wanted a nose job MY ENTIRE LIFE. but terrified of surgery. should have thought of it when i had busted hip surgery (not replacement) the ol two birds one stone theory. lol. in any event, i’ve just stayed a lotions and potions girl so far. by the way…i’m from MONTICELLO, NEW YORK!!!! didn’t look much different from your town when i was growing up. love your personal style and your interiors. bonnie
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! Your skin tone and beautiful gray hair is just striking. I did notice recently in one of your pictures that you looked a little different and wondered what had changed. You have such a great sense of style and seem to lead such an exciting life!
When I was 64 (3 years ago) I had a lower face lift and CO2 laser resurfacing. Like you, I didn’t want to look like Barbie, I just looked tired and my mouth was shriveling before my eyes! My husband always told me I was beautiful, but to do it if I wanted. So I did it and am so glad I did! It was a difficult few weeks, I bruised and swelled, but after I got over the hump it was so worth it. I have been told now that I don’t look my age, which is fine, but I did it for myself not for approval from others. The best reaction I’ve had is my nephew asking me if I had just gotten hi-lites and the worst was after I had asked for and received the senior discount at my local nursery a man followed me to my car and aggressively accused me of lying to get the 10% discount!
Hi Geri
Please come back on Tuesday and share your recovery. I tend to bounce back pretty quick after surgeries, so I am not sure if I am the norm. A few of my recent pictures were taken as soon as two weeks after surgery. I thought I looked great (ha ha) but no9w that I am further out I realize my mouth area was still swollen so I couldn’t quite get a full smile. I think I am nearly back to normal now except for some neck swelling and tightness.
Thank you for sharing. I was actually wondering if you had something done, but you’ve always looked great so I wasn’t sure. I think you look fabulous and would love to have the same procedure.
Hi Lisa
Ahhh you are very perceptive. As I said to Geri one of the fashion posts was three weeks post-surgery as well as my “class” with Sandra. Although the bruising was gone, I was still a little tight!
You are an inspiration on so many levels. But for me I love that you bring this issue to the open on your Instagram post and blog. I was sad to hear about your burns and the struggles you dealt with and it had to be hard for your parents too. But you landed squarely and are sharing so much good stuff talking about the aging challenges we face. 63 comes up this month and I would say it sounds shocking! I cruised through my 40s and 50s and when 60 came, the drop off was rapid with noticeable aging. It’s hard. Some days I am good but others I hate the lady looking at me in the mirror. Adding weight over the pandemic was not helpful but it was a difficult time for me, and cooking for hubs and enjoying the comfort foods was a way to get through it. But now it’s time to drop the pounds. Weight also ages. I had Botox and filler a few times and always felt refreshed from it…money well spent. Would I like to lose the saggy face and neck??? Of course! So I’m
Loving this blog post and you are a champion to start the discussion and share your story first!
Hi Amy
I know what you are saying about “that lady in the window”. That’s what I was feeling when taking photos etc. I too put on a few pounds during covid and am working on getting them off. Aging isn’t for sissies! It has been fun following your darling lake house.
Hi Dora
I always appreciate your comments and your honestly. For those of you who don’t wish to translate. Dora states that she is against plastic surgery personally but is happy for me if it is what I wanted. She says she does not like the unnatural (touched up look) that one gets from having it.
Whoops honesty! Sorry!
Cara Cindy
Sono rimasta piacevolmente colpita da questa tua onestà di aprirti su una decisione di intraprendere questo percorso riguardo la chirurgia plastica. .io al riguardo sono un po’ contraria ,non sopporto i visi pesantemente ritoccati.ma questa è una mia opinione.se si interviene per fattori diversi cioè per rimediare delle conseguenze dovute a casi di salute ben venga facendo volontariato al centro tumori capisco perfettamente anche il lato psicologo della persona.hai fatto bene se per te era importante .un forte abbraccio da parte mia .Dora Renata (Margot fonteyn)
Cindy, one of the things I appreciate about you is your “humanity”. This sharing of your surgery is another reason I continue to follow you, as you are open and honest about the reality/challenges/pluses at our ages. We have similar parents and siblings, too, along with our Midwest roots. Being kind and supportive is such an important practice in life. So glad your surgery and recovery went so well! You are lovely, inside and out.
Hi Nan
Thank you so much. I feel it is important that we women be honest and upfront with each other. I do totally understand anyone who wishes to keep it private as well. Always love hearing from my Tennessee friend!
Looking forward to your update on Tuesday! Never underestimate the power of honesty in blogging or in life…
Hi Nan
So true. I had no idea, honestly. I thought I might be making the biggest mistake in my blogging career by being too honest. When I woke up (well actually I didn’t sleep much) I was overwhelmed. The credit goes to this community of women on this blog. You are all I hope to be when I grow up (tee hee) and more.
Hi Nan
Thank you for always being so supportive. I so appreciate your insightful comments.
Hi Elizabeth
You are one of those women in the blogging world whom I have great respect for, as a person, for your content, and your wise observations on life in general. I was hoping to hear from you because I knew you would bring something to the table. That book though dated has something to do with the why we as women still feel shame about certain things like plastic surgery. As another reader mentioned, it is our generation. Our children have none of that, so I expect much to change by the time they reach our age.
Cindy, I read this post this morning and have been thinking about it all day. To answer your question, I have no idea why women are so secretive about having things done. Maybe it is because society places so much pressure on women to do it all, to look good and have an amazing career, raise the kids oh and did I mention look good? That brings to mind two things: 1). 10 years ago I found a book for women, it was given to women when they married and it was supposed to tech them everything they needed to know about homemaking, one of the chapters was about “preparing yourself for your husband to come home from work.” It said make sure the children are clean and QUIET, make sure the lady of the house is looking her best, greets her husband at the door with a smile and not to burden him with anything bad that happened to her during the day because the man had been out working all day earning money and he was tired, wanted a good meal and should not have to be bothered by this sort of thing.
Another things that came to mind, did you know that when Susan G. Koeman found out she had breast cancer she kept it a secret, so did her parents! Why? They thought it was something that people should not talk about!
I think in this day an age of social media, women want to look perfect, and because of influencers or the pressure put on women to look perfect they are not allowed to show themselves without a filter or talk about the work they have had done.
I say this, LIFE IS SHORT!!! If you(anyone/everyone) want to have botox, a facelift, butt life, liposuction, veneers on your teeth, whatever, get it done. My husband hated his bottom teeth and 7 years ago he got braces, he was so happy and proud and now he loves his teeth. He is 66.
I think you need to write a book Cindy, your life is fascinating, it just goes to show that everyone has a story! I do not think I have ever heard you mention that you had been burned. Thank you for sharing that and your experience.
Take care friend, looking forward to hearing more about whatever you had done!
How others see us and how we see ourselves is quite different. So do what makes you feel more like you I say!
Hi Sarah
Thank you so much! You are absolutely spot on!
Cindy,
Thank you for addressing a sensitive topic. There is absolutely nothing wrong about wanting to have cosmetic surgery or wanting to feel like a better you. I’ve had a couple of procedures (tummy tuck and breast reduction) and these were well worth the cost. Stand proud you’ve got an army behind you!
Hi Deb
Thank you so much. I sure love my army! I always love hearing from you!
Bravo Cindy!! I love the honesty. And it’s good to get the name of a highly recommended cosmetic surgeon too.
It’s very caring of others to share the truth.
Hi Ellie
I am so glad we are all being honest and sharing our experiences and sources. We owe it to each other!
Cindy, what a joy you are. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable and sharing your story. Good for you for making a choice that will make you happy and feel even better about your self. I had a neck lift at age 50. I’m 67. It was quite a painful ordeal and I’m very hopeful that 17 years have made vast improvements in that surgery. At 50 a life of trauma and chronic illness left me feeling so old and tired looking. My older girl friends recommended a wonderful surgeon in San Luis Obispo. I’ve never regretted that decision. My only regret is that my friends said that they have work done every 10 years. I’m way passed due…but due to life circumstances have just embraced where I’m at. I’m excited for you and hope you are thrilled with the results and feel that your insides can now match your outside. I so enjoy your blog and adventures. Here’s to a life filled with love, joy and true beauty.
Hi Katie
I was very fortunate to heal very quickly. I will share more about that on Tuesday. I am thinking this will be one and done for me, but Like Diane Keaton said never say never. It is about enjoying life and being the best we can be at any age in my opinion.
I’m your age and have had work done. Several things. I am not at all self conscious about doing so. It’s me and I own it. I’m going to have more done too. My jowls are driving me crazy too and I’ve had two estimates to have the work done.
It’s our generation who struggles. Not the younger generations. My 35 yr old daughter takes care of her skin, wears sun block religiously and has invested in tweaks on her face. I used baby oil in sun, tanned like a horse did not think at all about my skin. So I’m making up for bad habits and lost time.
Hi Bonnie
Go Bonnie!! You are so right that our generation is the one with issues. My kids wouldn’t think of going out in the sun without loads of sunscreen and they take care of their skin. Baby oil and iodine was my staple as well. Thank you so much for weighing in. It is so helpful to everyone. Please come back on Tuesday and share your experiences as well.
Wow Cindy,
So many many responses … thank you for discussing this topic …
I can sort of relate … in college I had shingles on the right side of my face and neck. I was so sick that ultimately I had to drop out of school for the semester.
About 8 years ago I noticed on my face one side was drooping and people would say,
smile … I couldn’t… could not smile .. the side I had shingles on …
So, now I go in once a year for Botox and fillers to lift up the right side of my mouth and right eye area. The muscles are weak and atrophied … I am guessing
I never mention this to anyone, but I think it is healthy to talk about it and how lucky I am happy to know that my frowning can be helped !! At least a bit !!
You look amazing !!! Ageless !! Thank you for sharing
…. Botox isn’t just for foreheads but does help me with lifting the end of my mouth up so I look happy, not scowling like before ..
Jennifer C
Hi Jennifer
I cannot believe you got shingles in college. Thank god for botox and fillers. So appreciate you sharing your experience. It is so helpful to others.
Cindy,
Thank you for sharing your experience and your history. I have always been afraid of surgery because my skin scars and am intrigued to hear more about these procedures. You are absolutely right to do what is right for you!
As for your burn scars, my youngest had a similar but more minor experience with a birth mark on her leg which drew many comments when she was young. She is a tennis player and had to wear shorts or skirts and as a result was exposed to many remarks, surprisingly from adults who should know better. Her sister told her to tell people it was a tattoo. People feel much too comfortable opining on the body/life of others.
Thanks for letting us in!
Hi Auriel
I think you are right about the adults. I think some of the most hurtful comments came from those that should know better. I love what her sister said what a wonderful sibling. Thank you so much for sharing.
It’s a great feeling isn’t it! I am 70 now and had a face lift about 8 years ago. I immediately loved it. My husband took me for the surgery then 2 days later left for Scotland on his dream golf trip. We both had lots to celebrate two weeks later. I have recommended my Denver doctor, Brent Smith to anyone that asked, although only one person a man who had face lifts himself did ask. I am now debating a breast reduction. I had 4 children, nursed each one for 18 months and I am tired of DD on my 5’3” body. I’ve a very healthy 93 year old mother so feel like it might be worth it for 20 -30 years.
Congratulations on your face lift! If only they could dye dark under eye circles.👍🏻
Hi Kathleen
I felt exactly the same the first two days you need someone to help a bit. After that second day it is much better. I have strong genes as well. My father died at 95 and my mother in her late 80’s. I may have to get new hips in my 70’s. I am not about to hobble around with a cane again.
Oh! How I needed to hear YOUR “story!” We ALL have one, but few of us are brave enough to expose it! Your transparency is quite beautiful! Congratulations and keep your lovely blog coming!!
Hi Pam
Thank you so much for weighing in. I am so glad you enjoy the blog.
I’ve always thought you were /are beautiful, before and after. I truly enjoy all your posts. You inspire me in many ways. I’m happy your experience has been so positive!
Hi Janet
Thank you so much for being so supportive. It is women like you that make penning this blog such a joy.
Cindy – You look natural and totally like you in the video with Sandra. Thank you for sharing the knowledge and experience to educate women like me. The procedures are so confusing if you don’t have any reference from people you know.
Hi Pat
I am sorry I did not tell you. I knew you would be totally supportive. I just decided to do it and talk about it later!
Cindy – I would have done the same thing. I love that you shared it this way. It is so helpful and encouraging!
You’ve had a LOT of responses! Thanks for sharing, Cindy. I never thought about you looking or being ‘less’ than the darling, cute girl you were growing up or now are! 🙂
I’ve recently thought about having neck/jowl lift done….the most important thing appears to be finding a ‘good surgeon’ who can do it safely and make it look natural. It amazes me how st many who have millions of dollars seem to end up a mess: wealthy celebrities and politicians with that ‘plastic surprised’ look, or lips WAY too big for their faces….they look like comical caricatures of their younger selves. I feel sorry for them!
Hi Pam
Thank you for that. You are so right about finding a good surgeon. None of us want to have an unnatural look. I totally respect my surgeon. He was professional and caring every step of the way. I do think another thing worth mentioning is that the whole process has changed so much that as long as you have a good surgeon you should not have that overdone look. I think another issue can be as another reader mentioned that we can become obsessed with having everything perfect. We will never be our younger selves, we just want to look rested and fresh.
Cindy: your are beautiful, inside and out! Thanks for sharing a subject that is very sensitive for many women. I had a full facelift, neck lift and eyebrow lift twenty years ago. Never regretted it, but I hesitated to share the experience with others. The finished product was exceptional and I kept it to myself. Most people assumed I had lost weight, which was the objective, to look natural and rested. I am now 73 and believe in safe surgery or procedures. I recently had a laser treatment, called Profound. It was not painless, but recovery was one week, with results apparent after two months. It relies on rebuilding collagen in the face and neck. I think more needs to be shared on this subject. You go, girl!
Hi Linda
I think I will need to have my acne scars lasered again to get a better result. I was being cheap and skeptical. I have an excellent dermatologist and she told me what was needed. I just didn’t go far enough.
Cindy,
This was a wonderful post and I appreciate your honesty. It helps all of us understand that things that happen can be challenging. You are such an honest person and that is one of the things that I admire about you. I had to smile at that tan. I knew that I had over-exposed my skin as a teenager but being a redhead never achieved the beautiful tan you managed. I agree with your philosophy on doing things to help us look more like we feel.
xo,
Karen B.
Hi Karen
Thank god for your red hair it saved you from looking like an overcooked steak like me. How I thought that was attractive was beyond me! Thank god our children are smarter than us.
So glad that you did something for yourself!! I too plan to one day as well, I am 56 and feel the same way you do, why not “look” as good as we feel. I take pride in my personal choices daily with exercise, food choices, hormones, sleep, water intake, supplements, dailey juicing, etc . Why not plastic surgery when the time is right! Good luck healing and I can’t wait to hear all about it!
I am all about being open, whether it be about menopause, aging, mental health etc. Why oh why should we be silent?
I am also 67 years old. Looking good equals feeling good! Who doesn’t deserve that! We women apologize for everything or try to explain why we deserve good things. We need to stop this and give this gift to our daughters and granddaughters. You don’t have to ask permission to do anything. You go girl!
Cheers to You, Cindy! This was a brave post for a private person and a generous thing to do for your followers. Saw your livestream with Sandra Sallin and you couldn’t tell you had a thing done. But then we were all looking at your eyes!!! Adorable before and after and who cares if somebody cares. No room for judgy-people!
Brava, Cindy! I’d love to have some work done. If I could be assured the final results wouldn’t make me regret it, I’d do it in a heartbeat! xoxox, Brenda
Hi Brenda
There is always that question in the back of one’s mind. Will I still look like myself? And it is kinda hard at first because due to the swelling you do not look like yourself. That is why you want to do your research and get a good plastic surgeon like Dr. Sunde.
Thanks for your honesty and transparency and the reminder that we need to do what makes US happy. This is a beautifully written story by a beautiful woman! Thanks for sharing with all of us!
Hi Lauren
Thank you so much for all that you did for me during recovery. I ate better recovering than ever!
Such a terrific post Cindy; it is so lovely to hear your history and see pictures of you growing up so beautifully strong and feisty,a free spirit–wow l see so much of little Summer—and your thoughtful response to surgery. I have had a hip replacement and lasik for both eyes and if l could, l would do mouth surgery and straighten my teeth and yes the neck too….so no judgements here at all and l shy away from people who do.
Although in my world, acting profession, face lifts are everywhere and personally l prefer to see actresses with foreheads that wrinkle and lines that speak of time Those are the women l watch intensely for their truth. l think to have women in the public age who show age gracefully, is a beautiful to see and l hope we don’t as a culture move too far away from that. My grandchildren hopefully will see me strong and independent and love me, despite my crooked teeth . Great discussion thank you. Xo
Hi Francesca
I still have my hooded eyes and wrinkly forehead but I feel much better about the neck and jowls! Interestingly Summer did not notice anything different. I expected her to. I think that was the biggest compliment I could have gotten.
BRAVO to you, and I could not agree more Cindy! cannot wait to hear about your procedure, I have had botox but know more specific treatments are coming, and without shame.
that dark tan look was me too; iodine in baby oil, tinfoil screen and to make it worse, Sun-in for the hair….yikes!
xx
Debra
Oh lord why did we do that to ourselves Debra? I had a mother who baked in the sun as well. My sister was a little wiser than I but not much.
Cindy,
I’ve been reading your blog for several months and just wish I’d found you sooner. I admire your style, your creativity, and your honesty. My heart goes out to the little girl you once were who had to deal with burn scars. Thank goodness for your wise and loving dad! You managed to become strong and brave from that experience.
As for the facelift, this was so encouraging to read. At 64, I feel self-conscious about my “wobbly” neck and am considering surgery. I have been hung up on feeling a bit selfish for wanting to spend money on vanity, but your attitude is helpful. It is important that I feel good about myself at this stage of my life. Not to look 40 or 50 but the best 64 I can be. I’m looking forward to your post on the surgery. It would be great to see before and after pics and to learn details about the procedure. And not to be too nosy, but some general information about cost would be good, too.
Thank you for sharing your life and style through your blog. You are just wonderful!
Hi Shay
I will share before and after pictures as well as my recovery. I will share everything that I can think of,now that I know people are interested. I wasn’t sure.
Thank you for such a thoughtful, honest post that is so applicable to women our age. I too have thought about eyelid or neck surgery but am very hesitant due to what I perceive as the intense weeks of post op pain. I’ve had only one surgery ever, a scheduled c section, and the recovery was no picnic that I’d want to electively repeat! Looking forward to your honest assessments of the pain involved.
Hi Elle
I will share all that I can next Tuesday. Hopefully anyone else that has had the surgery will share their experiences as well. I know everyone has a different experience.
Cindy,
I LOVE your style and your heart! What a wonderful post…you shared some very personal issues.
I am 62 and have had a lower face lift and chin implant 10 years ago. So glad I did it! Then I had an upper eye lift as people always said I looked so tired. I am ready to have a breast reduction and lift. I am doing this for me….no one else.
At a recent book club, some of the ladies were talking about BOTOX. An older lady said, “I hate to tell you; but when you get to a certain age, nobody notices anyway.” I thought to myself, I am only doing this for me!!
This is “ our time”….do you and be happy!
Thanks Cindy!
Hi Pat
I so agree. I did it for myself and no one else. I am fortunate that I had a supportive family as well. My poor husband had that week off.
On a post script note, my mom had work done many years ago after my daughter, then 3 or 4 said “Nana, you have a scroungy neck”. That did it! My mom made an appointment for cosmetic surgery! I hope that story makes you laugh.
I Knew something was DIFFERENT but thought you had LOST WEIGHT!!!
GOOD FOR YOU IF YOU FEEL YOU NEEDED TO DO THAT BRAVA TO YOU…….
YOUR COME BACK TIMES from both hips and now a facelift are AMAZING!Thats what you need to talk about how you BOUNCE back with NO MEDS from the HIP replacements!!AND I assume with this……….
YOU DO HAVE A LOT GOING ON MADAME CINDY!!!
FABULOUS POST!
WELL WORTH THE READ!
XXX
Thank you for including the note at the end since I was still up in the air about did she or didn’t she? Thank you for opening up to all of us about your life: the burns and how that has scarred you literally and emotionally. I think if this surgery will help you feel better about yourself and your husband supports you, then good for you! I can’t wait to have you share more and show results. Brava, Cindy. XO
Thank you for this post and your impeccable timing. I had the same surgery at 54-because I am a redhead, and years of sunning, skiing, hiking, all without sunscreen. I had lasers and botox, but nothing took care of my issues. I was really wrinkled…My sister is a very successful movie/TV make up artist with her own make up line, and she asked me to be her model when she had to go renew her license years ago. Seeing myself in the stark professional mirrors, I wanted to die. The instructor/test monitor came over to her and said something about “her model was senior” I was devastated leaving that day. I was in my 50’s.
But it wasn’t just that-I knew that I looked so much older than I felt. So-I had the same exact surgery-and it was worth every penny. (actresses and actors that state that they had “no work done” are lying!100%!)
Fast forward 12 years-and I now want to have my neck and upper eye lift with an other mini lift, zoom really shows you how you look. I have two beautiful sisters who indulge and look so young. There is nothing wrong with that! I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night thinking about it. What timing! I cold care less about telling people-I think it you should be proud to have surgery if you feel you want it-why not? I have been through too much in life and experienced great loss-you only get this go around once-live it the Hell up!
Thank you for sharing your personal story. It only increases my respect, and admiration for you. I’ll be 65, in less than two weeks, and I’m always telling my husband that I would love to get a neck lift, along with the saggy jowls. I’ve had Botox in the past, and have always been very open about. Why should we feel any shame about something, that makes us feel even better about ourselves(as long as it isn’t something that hurts others).
CIndy! Thank you so much for this. I am having the same surgery done in April (I had my eyes done 6 years ago and am thrilled with the results). You so beautifully shared what is not done often enough – that is, not every woman wants to turn back the clock or get work done to look decades younger. It’s about looking “our best”, whatever that means to us. Bravo! xo
Wow! All I can think is what a great group of kind, compassionate women gathered together on this blog. The credit goes to you Cindy for your open and kind and thoughtful attitude. I would love to be friends with any and all of you. Please continue with this wonderful sharing of information. When we get older there is sometimes a feeling of isolation that what we are going thru is unique to us and there is something wrong with us. Not true and very encouraging.
Thank you so much for your post today, your honest approach to “having a little work done.” Please know I can’t wait to hear more on this subject from you and how much I enjoy your blog.
Dearest Cindy bravo for being so candid. I love your honesty and your approach to life itself. You do YOU beautifully. You’re beautiful inside and out. What you’re doing is helping women andI applaud you for that. You didn’t have to share but you chose to encourage others over your comfort. Thank you for all that you do to cheer other women on. ❤️😘
I wish more people would be open about plastic surgery and other procedures. I want to know more what can be done, what to expect during and after, etc. I am 72, fit, think I look great until I see a photo and then wonder who is that? I don’t even look like myself. Why shouldn’t we look more like ourselves again?
Bravo to you Cindy. Plastic surgeons have said that due to selfies, they are doing more neck lifts. Pictures are indeed worth a thousand words. You are fortunate to have a supportive husband, and as a blogger, it is all the more reason, to feel the need to look your best.
I watched the video of your makeup session with Sandra, and was wondering if you were bothered with having hooded eyes? I thought they were beautiful. There are a lot of advantages to getting older, and not concerned about what others think… if it makes us happy. I would love to see a post describing your experience, if not too personal. Thanks for sharing!
Very helpful post, thank you for sharing about your childhood and how you have learned to accept and rise to challenges. I have for decades wanted something done to my neck. My grandmother had quite a wattle and my mother also had excess skin etc on her neck and mine is similar. However, I am scared of the post operative pain and the possibility of a poor outcome. I don’t know what the cost would be, but assume it is many thousands and wonder if that is too selfish. Could you give us details about how you found a good plastic surgeon, costs, the details of recovery (that instagram photo is frightening!), pain level, etc.
Thank you for such a timely article! I am 56 and have hated my double chin my entire life. Now as I am older, I feel that gravity has latched onto my face. I am currently researching face and neck lifts. Our first child just got engaged and I have already started dreading the photos. I have dunked out of pictures for most of my adult life because I don’t like how I look in them. I am happy with what I see in the mirror – but pictures are completely different. Thankfully my husband is supportive of whatever choice I make. (By the way, I live in Zionsville IN – right next door to Carmel!) Love your blog!
Hi Melissa
I completely understand. I was continually taking pictures farther and farther away. My advice is do whatever you are comfortable with. I will definitely do a follow-up post on Tuesday about my experience. Hopefully, it will help others. Oh and we love Zionsville! I am trying to think of the name of that cute farm/restaurant that we ate at the last time we visited.
Great post and congrats on “the work.” I had a facelift, upper eye, and fat transfer last summer and I have no regrets. It looks very natural. Recovery was more difficult than I imagined, so anyone considering it should be prepared. I was open with friends and family because it seemed silly to hide it. Cindy, your story is so inspiring! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Katherine
I think it was Sharon Osborne who said if anyone tells you a facelift isn’t painful they are lying!!
A wonderful post Cindy. People feel like they know you (and like and respect you) even more than before. And I get the feeling that you are pretty well-loved and respected around here! 🤗
I have terrible varicose and spider veins in my legs and am very insecure about them. While they, in no way, come close to having and dealing with 3rd degree burn scars, I do watch what I wear.
I have all sorts of un-invasive procedures done on my face/neck all the time. (micro-current, LED lights, peels, derma-planing) I am too chicken to do something bigger.
Maybe soon – in the words of Nora Ephron – I feel bad about my neck….and my mouth isn’t lookin too good either…
Hi Gray
We need to do a post on procedures and what has worked. I am asked all the time. Love the Nora Ephron quote!! Thanks for being such a great blogging pal!
I LOVE being online friends!!
You know what? I MISSED THE LOWER FACELIFT part!!! Not sure what made me revisit this post, but I just did and saw that part this time!? I feel like an idiot. Well – I’m dying to hear about it. I want to have the same thing done. So they didn’t tell you that you were too old for that??
Hi Gray
They did not tell me I was too old. He did however tell me that I had a “lot of skin”. You know what that means I looked really bad!
Those childhood pictures were so moving and spoke volumes; you were a beautiful girl and teen, and now an even more beautiful woman. Even so, you suffered. And now, you have transcended that.
Your authenticity equals your many talents. This blog works on so many levels, but truth-telling is the most inspiring of all.
Thank you.
Hi Cynthia
I wish I had your way with words. Thank you so much for your beautiful comment. I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful community of women here on the blog.
Cindy, I can’t believe how hard that must have been with scars as a kid and it shows how parents can shape the way you go through life. Your dad was so right. Glad you shared your story today and doing what makes you feel good. I wish everyone was honest about it all! I know my mom hated her neck and jowl appearance and said nothing else the last 20 years of her life, which made me sad, but she was too scared of surgery. Why should we go through that?
Also a lot of women opt for all these fillers which distort the face and so maybe a lower face lift is a better choice. My best friend also just had one and is very happy. I adore you and so happy for you. xo Kim Also, the first photo (loved them) looks a lot like Miss Summer to me!
Hi Kim
Until I had my two hip replacements, I had not had surgery since I was a child. I think having that surgery gave me the confidence to tuff it out so to speak. I think that photo looks a little like Summer too. She is much prettier than I was as a child. I didn’t have the Kim Kardashian lips. Thank you so much Kim for being such a great friend. You are an amazing person.
Hi Cindy,
Please share your journey with your post-procedure process. I am 66 and am considering some plastic surgery this year. I haven’t completed my research on surgeons yet in the Phoenix area. If anyone is willing to recommend a plastic surgeon in the Phoenix area, I would appreciate that! I started following you because of your lovely interior design ideas and now I am so enjoying the wide range of topics you cover. Please know that you are a valuable resource to the community of women over 50! Please keep on blogging! Carolyn in AZ.
Hi Carolyn
I will do the post next week. I love what I do here because of women like you. You all give me so much more than I could ever offer you.
Hi Carolyn, I’m here in Scottsdale and had plastic surgery done by Patti Flint. I had it when I was 65 (now 69) and love the results. She has a website that you can see before and afters, I would encourage you to check it out. Best regards, Nancy
wow…. so many comments this article. My dad was a Plastic Surgeon at Stanford, a brilliant one. We had many conversations about facelifts, breast implantations, etc etc etc etc – My dad’s philosophy was that if a particular surgery could give a woman more self esteem and confidence then he was doing a good thing because a woman with good self esteem could rule the world.
I have had Blepharoplasty on my upper eyelids – I was so happy with the results. I have had botox and fillers but decided a couple years ago that I was done with them.
Now I have decided to go with taking really good care of my 65 yea rold skin: guy sha, Manuka honey cleansers, rose hip oil, hydration, exercise, yoga and breathing, but most of all a happy attitude all have helped me love the skin I am in.
However, thumbs up to Plastic Surgery to whoever needs or wants it. One day I might go for it again
Hi Dianne
I am so trying to make up for lost time now with skincare. I would love to hear what products you use and love. I have had botox but no fillers. It sounds like your father was a wonderful man.
Cindy
You wrote an excellent article. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that but I’m sure it impacted the strong woman you are today. Like you I m in my sixities and thought of plastic surgery as many parts of my body are heading south. I won’t get anything done because I
think about plastic surgery the same as I think about getting a tattoo. If afraid if I get one done I’ll keep going. But if someone else gets either a tattoo or work done more power to you!
I look forward to your blogs keep up the good work.
Bonita
Hi Bonita
I am glad you brought that up. That was and still is a concern of mine. I have seen many people who did not know when to quit. I consider this one and done for me, but the eyelid surgery will probably be in my future. My father had terrible hooded eyes that affected his vision. He had surgery three times before he died at 95.
Hi Cindy
I’d get the eyelid surgery as it impacts not only how you look but your vision.
I had a friend who had it done and the difference was remarkable.
Bonita
Hi Bonita
I certainly will at some point! Thank you!
Cindy, you are so strong and admirable…especially considering how literally scarred your childhood was. You have made the best of this life and continue to do so. You are beautiful inside and out!
Thank you for this frank post. I am blessed to have you in my life. We all are.
Mary Ann
Hi Mary Ann
Thank you to you for encouraging and supporting me through thick and thin. Who knew six? years ago that we would become such close friends. I feel very lucky to call you my friend.
As aspiring writers, we were always told to write what we know—well, you know what you are writing: honest, wisdom gained through pain, acceptance. Truly, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Having acne-cystic acne as it was called then-was a challenge to say the least. Then the treatment wasn’t anything like Dr Pimple Popper. One dermatologist said to wait until it “broke” on its own. Another performed the latest treatment: x-rays! I didn’t have the divots, just the scaring. I had the first of what was to have been at least three dermabrasions at 23. It was the first Christmas that I was dating the man I would marry. I was away for two weeks, and when I told him how it was done, he was appalled that I went through that and pleaded with me not to do that again. We, like you and your husband, married in 1975. He thinks I am beautiful (I am not!!!!). It helps he can’t see leaves on trees without his glasses. I am glad you did this for you for the right reasons.
PS You look. Much better with your silver hair!
Hi Patricia
Isn’t it funny? I barely recognize myself without the silver hair. I think it is close to ten years since I have gone “au natural”. I never really had acne but would get gigantic pimples on occasion which of course led to scarring (that isn’t noticeable until the skin begins to sag more and more). I also had a dermatologist that had me use “sunlamp” on my face if you can believe it. So far no skin cancer on the face but I am waiting. Your husband’s vision sounds very similar to Steve’s!
Cindy—
What a great post! You put such a thoughtful, personal perspective on “a thing” that shouldn’t have to be “a thing”. We’re all making choices to help us age/live better, and this is just one more option that’s thankfully becoming more available to so many.
xx Sandy
Hi Sandy
Thank you so much for weighing in. Your positive attitude and outlook is contagious!
Great post Hugs to you and thanks for your story! I wish I would have
done this at your age too! Look forward to the “unveiling” . I also enjoyed
all the wonderful comments. What a great following of women!!
Hi Char
I don’t know if you saw the live with Sandra on the hooded eyes, but I was three weeks post-surgery. Poor Sandra knew nothing of the surgery so this will be a surprise to her as well. Don’t we have the best women here on the blog?
Thank you for sharing such an honest, raw post !!
Hi Michelle
You are welcome. As I said, I don’t share personal things often, but I felt it was necessary to explain a little background.
I had an eye lift about 20 yrs ago because of the tired comments. The only comment afterwards I got was from a friend who said I looked like I had lost weight-go figure!Then the surgeon’s wife told me that eventually I would need to be refreshed. well, I did not want to do that! now I am am way past it. I will be 83 in March , most surgeons say I am too old,they can’t get a good result. I know it is because of fear of lawsuits,etc. My advce-get it when you can and don’t look back. Interesting point.Men have no problem with discussing surgeries,etc. why only women! Our society is funny,when we are so open about so many things,we are not about doing what might make us feel better and be more productive,better people. This is a topic for a long range discussion on this blog and others.
Hi Susan
I love your story. I read that some surgeons will not perform a facelift on anyone older than 55, I am sure I may have needed it then but the thought was not even on my radar at that time. I was hoping if I shared my story, we could openly discuss it. You ladies are the best. I always learn so much from you!
Thank you for sharing your story with us and I would love to hear the details of the surgery when you are ready. Your honesty is precious.
Hi Rita
I think it is unanimous. I will write a follow-up post on Tuesday with all of the gory details.
I’m so glad you’re going to do the followup post. I’ve considered neck surgery and would really like your perspective. Thank you for being so honest. I always enjoy your blog!
Hi Lynn
I am very thankful I did what I did. I thought long and hard about it is this self absorbed et cetera et cetera. I finally thought for me it is now or never. I am very thankful I did it.
Hi Lynn
I am happy to do it. I just wasn’t sure how you all would respond. Now that I know you are all interested we shall do it.
Hi Cindy,
As always thanks for the thoughtful post. You have wonderful style and i learn so much from you.
I am 67 today and one month ago i had upper and lower blepharoplasty to get rid of droopy eyelids and fat pads (herniations) under the eyes. I recovered quickly and am happy with the results. I was open to those around me about what i was doing ,and they were supportive.
Maybe it is age, but i don’t judge anyone for what they do, especially older women, who have so many societal pressures on them to look young. Procedures are so common place today, and my understanding is that younger women are the ones getting them. And plastic surgery has come a long way. So what’s the big deal?
If you have/had work done, bravo! And thanks for putting it out there. I would love to see a post about your experience.
thanks again
Hi Kathy
We are almost exactly the same age. I turned 67 in December. I too recovered quickly (or so my surgeon says). I will post all about that next Tuesday if there is enough interest.
Cindy! This is a beautiful post! So moving and maybe will open up the conversation about why we are so secretive about having a little work done. We just want to look as good as we feel!. I think it’s awesome and admire you even more, if that’s even possible!! Love you Cindy!
xx
annie
Hi Annie
Thank you so much for your friendship and support. You have been such a blessing in my life!
Oh, Cindy, thank you for this post! If we were closer I would hug the heck our of you. I have the greatest admiration for you – your honesty, your talents, your warmth, your love of family, your pets, etc., etc., etc. I’m so darn sorry you were burned so badly, but, Cindy, I believe those burns are behind the FABULOUS woman you are today! Thank you, again.
Hi Judie
Hug accepted!! You are exactly right about the burns, they have made me who I am today, good and bad!! Thank you so much for being an avid reader and supporter!
Thanks for this post, Cindy. I took the same approach with depression years ago. As a teen into middle age I suffered from clinical depression, which I hid, even from my family, for many years. It takes a lot of energy to hide! As I learned to manage it I chose to talk to others about it whenever it seemed appropriate and I have never regretted it.
Hi Jennifer
I love that comment “it takes a lot of energy to hide”. I am so happy you have been able to manage it and help others. Kudos and hugs to you!
Hi Cindy – what I am loving most about this particular post is that you’re also saying: “It’s okay to be flawed”. I lost part of my right hand (numerous digits on my fingers) when I was 26 and had many reconstructive surgeries over a 10-year period just to regain what was left of my hand. I remember thinking over and over, as I got used to the fact that I was what others would called “disfigured” (a hard thing in particular for a woman to come to terms with) is: “One day I will have lived with my hand like this for more years than before the accident. I am now proudly 63, have lived with my “special feature” for over 37 years, and for a long time now I don’t care anymore and stopped hiding my hand from sight decades ago. I notice when people notice, but I make a point of engaging with my eyes first. And so what? Few people, when you have the confidence to carry a physical disfigurement with pride, will have the audacity to say outright: “What’s wrong with you?” Wishing strength to those who may also getting used to new “shapes” of their bodies … and as for plastic survey, do it sensibly and responsibly (for your own well being) and go for it.
Hi Carola
Your story is mine. I understand every word you shared. I am 67 and have never known anything different. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have always said we have such a wonderful community of readers. I am now able to get to know each and every one of you a little better too.
My personal opinion is that most women get plastic surgery because they no longer look as young as they feel. I’ll be 70 in June and still feel like I’m 48 but wouldn’t mind a tweak or two!
Hi Barb
Absolutely, I do not feel old in the slightest. I don’t have a lot of the aches and pains that many women my age have because I have two bionic hips. If they don’t make it until I die, I will march right in and get them done again. Life is too short to not enjoy it to the fullest.
Loved your post and your dad was spot on! I think so many of us have some type of scars growing up. I was fat and people teased me. I read of actresses and public people killings themselves because they can’t cope with all the criticism. I wish they knew that they are not alone. We all feel less than at one time or another. Your dad’s advice would get us through so much. So enjoy your blog
Hi Darlene
I struggled with my weight until I was in my forties. I still pop back on weight watchers now and then. My sister and I both struggled with our weight, so I hear you. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Hopefully, this discussion will be therapeutic for all of us.
How interesting that I should read this just after taking my 14 day post op selfie after my face and neck lift, peri-oral dermabrasion, upper and lower blepharoplasty and earlobe reduction…and don’t forget a smidge of fat transfer to the marionette troughs on each side of my mouth. There, I’ve said it out loud. As you mentioned, I was tired of looking far older than I felt. While I have always taken good care of my skin and never tanned nothing can stop the relentless pull of gravity. I am still the energizer bunny grandma who loves dinner parties and the company of diverse people enjoyed over a well planned menu, language study and walking everywhere. So at 71, I decided it’s now or never. I did my research and found a wonderful plastic surgeon and timed the surgery like D-Day. We winter in California and I needed to be Covid free and ready to go on the date I booked last summer. I decided to do “everything” because I know I would regret doing less once everything healed. I struggled a bit over the “frivolity”of having an elective surgery with all its attendant risks but I am so glad that I did it. Now it’s behind me and I have a new lease on life. I feel this improved appearance will carry over into improved health and fitness goals this year. Yours is the number one blog I read and I think you are lovely.
Hi Susan!
I am five weeks out today. I don’t know if you caught my amateur live eye makeup tutorial with Sandra but I was three weeks post-surgery then. I had my share of swelling but didn’t have a lot of the bruising for some reason. Email me if you need any encouragement. Hooray for you!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on cosmetic surgery and those adorable pics. Agree with Diane Keaton’s remark “Never Say Never” about cosmetic surgery as well as many other things. I think we can all relate to the realization that we look much older than we feel. If you want this surgery, complete your research and then go for it! Whatever you decide I hope you achieve both the external and internal results that you want.
Hi Carolina
I should have made myself clearer, but I didn’t want to bore those who weren’t interested. I had a lower face and neck lift five weeks ago.Thank you so much for your kind words. I so appreciate it.
You look amazing Cindy. The stigma of having work done is several parts mean girl, with a dash of, it’s no one’s business but your own. Bravo for doing what makes you feel amazing. We deserve it.
Cindy,
Thank you, for sharing, I will have to go back and read the Post about your home town.
Remember just found ya Blog, Ig…….❤️
My oldest sister, is 72, and I am 62(youngest)
Middle Sister, the oldest sister decided at around age 50 ish, she was going to have Plastic Surgery Ten all at once., she is 5’11”
Striking beautifulll, vanity somewhat rules
My Mom.
She is glad she had all at one time, as she would say do not want to wake up everyday, with these Big Ears, Nose, Etc…………. If she had not had all this at one time, she would never gone back
for the others. I have never had any plastic surgery nor the Middle sister.
I am totally for it if makes one feel better about themselves.
Awesome post.
Love the Pics,
Thanks for sharing Cindy! Years ago I had my eyelids lifted, I got tired of hearing’ how tired’I looked all the time. I didn’t tell a soul. I’m 68 years old and still work full time and also want to look as good as I feel. I recently started having monthly cosmetic treatments, BBL, microneedling, light peels. Nothing drastic but it does make me feel better. I’m so happy I discovered your blog, I have gotten so many good tips in lots of different areas.
I have been having these same thoughts! You know an alarm is going off when you tell your husband to raise the camera so your neck looks better …
Thanks for sharing and I know whatever you do will be beautiful, how could it not be?
Hugs and Kisses,
Amanda
Hi Amanda
Thank you so much for your support! It’s done. I had a lower face and neck lift. I am very happy I did it. I will do a post on Tuesday on the details if people are interested. I am five weeks out now.
I love that you grew up in small town Monticello, Indiana! I grew up in a small town in upstate New York and now live in Carmel, Indiana. Not a huge town, but still not the insulated small town where I grew up.
I would love to have plastic surgery – just to look rested, NOT to look 40. I’m too afraid of post-surgery and all those drains! You never did say what you’ve had done, specifically? Would like to know as a frame of reference. You are beautiful with great style 🙂
Hi Lisa
So true. None of us want that overdone look. When I met with Dr. Sunde I told him I did not want to look like Barbie, but I didn’t want to look like a tired old lady either. I had a lower face and neck lift. Lisa I have great friends that also live in Carmel, the Keevers, and they love it!
Excellent article, and the quotations are spot on! Happiness IS an inside job…. don’t let anyone have power over your life and thoughts.
Hi Susan
Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have always admired you and love the casual easy way you dress and decorate. I have found myself wishing I was more like you! You have overcome truly difficult obstacles and sounds like you came out with confidence.
I agree, if someone wants something different, that’s their decision. Sometimes I disagree if they look fake or plastic but again, not my business, Ha!
Take care, always enjoy your posts
Hi Jes
I am humbled and honored by your response. I told my wonderful doctor that I wanted to still look like me.
Thank you!! It’s such a personal choice to have “work done” and also personal to share, but your post made me feel good about both and now I want to have a little work done!!
Hi Denise
Ha ha! It is very personal, but I felt in my position it was best to be upfront about it.