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Isn’t it time to Ditch the Term Anti-Aging and Age Awesomely?

Let’s face it the term is fear based and reeks negativity. The narrative makes aging sound like a disease that can be cured rather than the natural aging process. It fuels our anxiety about wrinkles, hair loss, body changes, memory loss and leads to unrealistic beauty standards. Instead we should celebrate the wisdom and confidence that come with age. Why not focus on our overall health and lifestyle and promote well-being at every age, rather than trying to achieve the impossible. Aging is inevitable. Isn’t it time to Ditch the Term Anti-Aging and Age Awesomely?

Isn’t it time to Ditch the Term Anti-Aging and Age Awesomely

Aging Awesomely Cindy Hattersley- Isn't it time to Ditch the Term Anti-Aging and Age Awesomely.

What is behind the concept of “anti-aging”

“The modern marketing concept of “anti-aging” was invented not by a doctor or skin expert but by a marketer. By a brand founder. Helena Rubinstein in the 1930s”. Jessica Delfino. Raise your hand if you remember Helena Rubenstein. It brought back old memories for me. How many years have we been coining the phrase from the 30’s really? It is time to skip that rock across the lake and say goodbye!

Tips for Aging Awesomely

I am not sure I love the “pro-aging” mindset or pro-aging movement much better. They too are products of marketing campaigns, but it is a start, right? What are the ingredients for aging awesomely? Our worth isn’t tied to the number of candles on our birthday cake. It’s about finding joy in the laugh lines that map out the stories of our lives, and in the wisdom that comes with each year.

Celebrate Little Victories

Celebrate the experiences that remind us of the magic of being alive. Whether it’s savoring a delicious meal with loved ones, dancing like nobody’s watching, helping others, or just celebrating another year of good health. There is beauty to be found in every experience.

cindy hattersley and her granddaughter

Engage in Self Confidence & Positivity

Don’t worry about ageism, being a size 2 or 14, your imposing wrinkles, thinning hair or sagging skin. Celebrate your wisdom and what you have to share. That is your ultimate recipe for aging confidently and positively and sharing it with the world.

Maya Angelou Dignity Quote

Embrace a Healthy Lifestyle

We owe it to ourselves to practice healthy aging and adopt healthy routines. We have a dear friend who is experiencing early alzheimers symptoms. His wife is reading everything she possibly can on the subject ( and has me immersed in the information as well a post on that another time). It is not too late to begin a more balanced diet, excercise more, or to get a good nights sleep. Be your own health advocate. Our medical system is struggling.

Practice Self Love and Acceptance

Immerse yourself in the pro-aging philosophy. Practice self-care. Look out for yourself like you were in your 20’s. If you are in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s or way beyond embrace your self confidence. It will empower you to share your wisdom.

positive aging quote labrador in garden

Live and Enjoy the Moment

Instead of viewing aging as something to be feared or fought against, embrace it as a natural part of the human experience. After all, it’s our quirks and imperfections and the natural process of aging that make us uniquely interesting.

Influencer Cindy Hattersley and her yellow lab pup Scout

Care for your Skin

The beauty industry is finally taking notice of mature women. Embrace beauty brands with skincare products and makeup hybrids with antioxidants for mature skin that are nourishing and boost the health of our skin.

More reading on the subject:

Positive Psychology 10 Principles to Shift Beliefs about Age

Harvard School of Health-Positive Aging Could Boost Your Health

There’s no ethical way to sell products that target signs of aging-Jessica Defino

The moral of the story is don’t reach for the panic button. Aging isn’t a horror movie, it’s a love story. Adopt a “pro-aging” mindset. With each year comes a new set of experiences, a library of wisdom, and a confidence that can only be earned. it is not possible to defy gravity, fine lines or hair loss. It is possible to embrace who we are. You might enjoy my recent posts on positive aging:

Tips for Overcoming Invisibilty and Embracing Empowerment

How to Embrace the Pro Age Movement With Humor and Optimism

How to Age Positively with Grace

Why is Growing Old Beautiful

Thank you for reading Isn’t it time to Ditch the Term Anti-Aging and Age Awesomely. I am constantly amazed by you ladies. You are a group of empowered, visible, inspiring, active women who can and are rocking our world. I know from your comments that you don’t need me to tell you that, but never doubt your power. If any of you are struggling in any aspect of your life, share your thoughts in the comments. We are here to support you.

**Editors Note: I was asked by a reader to state once again that I had a lower face lift a few years ago (for any new readers). I didn’t mention it in this particular post because this post wasn’t meant to be about having or not having work done. I believe each of us should do whatever makes us happy at this stage in our life. If I wished to keep it a secret, I would not have penned a post about it. For anyone that is interested, I documented it in this post Why are we so secretive about having work done? , and How to get the best results from your facelift. FYI I am not going to mention this every time I speak about aging, just as I don’t choose to badger everyone into going gray, everytime I pen a post about gray hair. That too was a personal choice, and it is not for everyone.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Barb L says

    Great topic Cindy! Aging is a privilege, isn’t it? By this time of life we’ve all seen and experienced so much. We’ve have joy, heartbreak and loss, children, grandchildren, husbands/partners, aging parents….. Yes, our skin and bodies aren’t as they were but I love your messages. Take care of our minds and bodies. Keep active, and challenge ourselves to continue to learn, grow and experience life. Keep moving forward. I’m sorry your friend is experiencing Alzheimers/Dementia. It’s an a cruel and awful disease. Both my mom and and mother-in-law suffered and passed away from end stage Alzheimers. I would recommend ‘The 32-Hour Day’ for anyone who has someone with the disease. Gray is so right about ‘memory care’ (or lack there of). I think that things have improved somewhat but the medical professionals are often not prepared enough (in my opinion) and family members really have to do much of the research to find the care necessary for the patient. Thanks for taking on this subject!

  2. GFT says

    I don’t usually post any responses, but want to encourage you to keep your good attitude and zest for life! It really helps that you and your husband had a beautiful and long marriage before your loss. My sympathy is shared with you in having lost my wonderful husband after almost 48 years. I still miss him terribly, but made the conscious decision to stay active and involved in life and community. It has made all the difference in my well-being! Wishing you peace, and the joy of beautiful memories and in continued positivity in your life.

  3. Elizabeth@pineconesandacorns says

    Cindy first let me say, I am sorry that you had to add an amendment to the post about your facelift. Why? Why? Why? Do people persist on this nonsense. Does it matter that you had a facelift? Was that mentioned in any of the articles that you shared? If so I missed it. YOU are patient and kind and frankly have the courage of a lion. The more you grow and become more influential the less kind people are to you. I am sorry for that.
    As for the post, the best way to age is to live well, live life to the fullest, surround yourself with kind, wonderful people, family and friends. Read, write, eat what makes you happy and fulfilled.
    Yesterday I lost a friend, she was 48 and had spent the last 3 years literally fighting for her life against stage 4 endocrine cancer of the liver. In the last 3 years as she criss crossed the country for treatments she made every second count and she made lots of memories with her husband of 18 years and her 2 boys, 13 and 16.
    Aging is inevitable, a fact of life and if we are lucky and blessed we will have a nice long life. But whatever the length of our lives we should make the most of every day and be happy, live well and laugh hard.

  4. Prue Batten says

    In the end, we are what we are – older women. If we value life, are privileged enough to live it positively in our 70’s, 80’s and 90’s it is all that matters. Good food, good exercise, compassion and a good attitude are all that matter.
    I cite the example of two friends – one is very wealthy, a gardener, an artist and a cook par excellence, she doesn’t care about fashion or managing her wrinkles – she cares about painting and drawing, plants, organics, reading, cooking and walking with her two chocolate labs. She’s intellectual and I love her to bits. She’s 82.
    The other is also very wealthy, has had all the bits done that one can have done, buys clothes weekly, doesn’t cook, doesn’t garden, has no artistic pursuits and has a cleaner. Has little to no compassion and is ineffably unhappy, always looking for what clothing and jewellry she can buy and what plastic surgeries will keep her younger-looking. She’s nearly 80.
    So which, at 72+, would I rather be when I turn 80?
    The first friend without doubt. She has an unquenchable interest in the human spirit, empathy and mental acuity. It’s what matters, not all the surface stuff. Just my opinion…

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Prue

      I couldn’t agree with you more. I have spent my life being a “jack of all trades and a master of none”. I have sold antiques, done wedding flowers, interior design and now this blog. I am an avid researcher and am always learning. My mind never rests!

  5. DMM says

    Wonderful post Cindy! And all the awesome comments too! I’m 74 and have been surprised that adjusting to the physical changes of aging (knee replacements, heart issues) has been so much easier than trying to make the mental transition. But I’m getting there, and blogs such as yours and State of Gray really are helpful.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi DM

      Gray’s blog is wonderful. Gray and I are sisters from another mother I beleive.

  6. Katherine says

    Dear Cindy,
    I just love this subject on aging and what has been said in the past, and what some of the women have faced as they have experienced along the way. This topic opens up such in depth conversation. I need to go back and reread it again, lots of information to absorb.
    Your husband, daughter, son, beautiful Summer, fur babies (also in the past) sister,
    son-in-law, daughter-in-law, close friends, blog friends, and all others I left out are so blessed to know you. You are made of such good stuff the blog community is extremely grateful to have you. You are real because you allow us to get to know the whole person.
    Thank you so very much for taking the time to communicate and share such a
    topic that we all can relate to as we embrace our journey and the changing chapters of courage.
    When is your birthday in December? This will be a birthday to embrace.,
    Do you have a P.O. Box to share?

  7. KimmyJ says

    Thanks for another great post. You really nailed the “aging” issue. You may remember I was inspired by your neck lift blog to have the same procedure done using your wonderful doctor. When people learn my age (71), they are often bowled over and I feel odd just saying “thank you.” I feel like I’m cheating or fibbing if I don’t tell them I had a little help. I don’t know what the etiquette is for this situation, but I imagine they simply want to pay me a compliment and I should leave it at that. I agree age is more than a number – it’s one’s style & one’s attitude – if you don’t act “old” you won’t be old. BTW, I’ll be in Paso with friends for a few days in September. Any special PR recommendations? I am always happy to see one of your blogs in my mailbox. First thing I open.

  8. Wren says

    Bravo, Cindy. Thanks for taking this subject on head first. I still feel the same on the inside, most days, as I always have. It’s mostly my chronological number that reminds me that time is getting shorter for me to do the things I want. I hope our generation can change the thinking regarding life in later years.

  9. Cathryn says

    Thanks for doing these posts! We all have so much to learn about aging well that takes research and discernment and real self care. And sharing the info is so valuable – thank you.

    In a separate subject, can you pass on Scout’s breeder info?
    Thanks!

  10. Peggy says

    Sexualized from no later than puberty, it’s way past time to stop using that as a measure. A gene toss and how close our body comes to what’s in or out as regards looks is no acceptable measure. Sadly, women have been reduced to this. Many of us have bought into it, too. So, it’s harder to break a glass ceiling, be paid fairly and contribute in ways we were barred from and in some cases, continue to be kept away from.

  11. Lisa H says

    I’m thinking of your friend who’s just received an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I went through this a few years ago with my Mom. She had another form of dementia. It was scary and sad and awful.
    We had such help from our local Alzheimer’s association. My Mom and I joined a support group, that we both attended when she was first diagnosed. The group interacted together, and then broke into groups of caretakers and people with dementia, and all got a chance to share. It just filled our hearts with comfort, to be with others experiencing the same difficult reality.
    Later, when Mom was far worse, I went to a caregivers support group. It’s just so good to be able to really talk with people who understand.
    One thing I will say, my Mom was in her mid to late 70’s when she was diagnosed. She had symptoms of both Frontotemporal dementia, and Lewy Body dementia. Both of these usually occur in much younger people. My Mom had been very active, and quite healthy during most of her life. We feel that her lifelong habits of exercise and hiking may have staved off dementia until later in life. She was also very social, and had large circles of friends. Man, could Mom throw a party!
    I’m trying to take these lessons to heart. I exercise and hike frequently and socialize often. I’ve also recently seen a study about how taking a daily multivitamin is shown to stave off dementia for several years.
    My Dad died at 52 and Mom passed away a few days after her 80th birthday. Growing old is a wonderful privilege, and I won’t waste a minute of it.
    Yes to good skin care, pretty clothes, and life’s pleasures!

  12. K Winch says

    if we are lucky we get old this post is one of the most meaningful you’ve ever posted there is not must respect for aged people see reddit “boomers being fools” and many other negative images out there

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Karen

      Yes we are very lucky indeed. I am shocked sometimes when I am researching a topic at some of the information.

  13. Elsa says

    I agree with Rita! Thank you Cindy for sharing your life with us! I always look forward to your post! Peace

  14. Cindy Adams says

    Look out for yourself like you were in your 20’s? I was laying in the sun eating junk food, never gained a pound.
    I get the meaning of your post, but at 74 skin care products aren’t going to do a thing and that market is thriving on old women . I still do my ritual every night my husband is 80 and he looks just as good after years of golfing.
    I also remember your facelift.
    It’s all in the genes and we need to look at our mothers.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Cindy

      Exactly no bottle will change the damage we have inflicted on ourselves. If only we knew then what we know now! My dermatologist prescribed sunlamp treatments for my acne!! I cannot believe I have not had a skin cancer on my face yet…waiting…

  15. Bette says

    I agree with all your points, but hope that the current “positive aging” trend does not become the next “toxic positivity.” Agina happens, there is good and bad, If we’re alive, we’re getting older. But one thing I refuse to do is to medicalize the process of growing older. So many of my friends and colleagues submit to endless rounds of diagnostic tests and doctors’ appointments and prescription drugs. They appear to be sitting around waiting for that terminal diagnosis. I prefer to ignore all of that and just live my life.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Bette

      I don’t take any drugs at all. Fortunately, I do not have any health issues that require me to. We can go overboard with any terms, can’t we?

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi TJ

      Thank you so much! I failed to get a picture of the two of us at her birthday party. She was too busy having fun!

  16. Leslie says

    I was flying back from my birthday adventure a few days ago. The man seated next to me asked me a question and we started to chat. He said he grew up in the fifties. He did appear to be older than me so I told him I was born in 51. Turns out he was every bit of 79. We chatted for a bit and then he had the nerve to say: “You look pretty good for your age.” I never fished for his opinion. I was blown away by his statement. It was not a compliment coming out of his very elderly body. So why do people feel they need to judge older women? Haven’t we earned the right to be grand. Like in grandmother? Women of a certain age in Europe and South America are treated with such respect. So my two cents is: demand respect. That old geezer got a stony reply. When we landed I asked him if he needed some help getting his bag down from the overhead bin. Keep your chins up girls. We need to make this a better place for us. Always.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Leslie! I have received that lovely comment before as well. I do find it hysterical that older men sometimes do not see themselves aging but somehow see it in women! Bravo for putting the geezer in his place. You made my day!

  17. Barbara Jackson says

    Take care of ourselves like we did in our twenties? Are you kidding? Who thought to take care of ourselves?We were too busy living and took our health, and natural beauty for granted. There is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves now We’re older and hopefully wiser. What a wonderful time we live in. Look at old movies. A woman in her forties, fifties and heaven forbid, older, wore sensible shoes and bustlines somewhere near their waists! Aren’t we lucky?

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Barbara

      You make a good point!!I guess I should have stated teens and early twenties before children! We women have come a long way and should be proud!

  18. Julie says

    This is the first time I have felt inspired to comment in a long time. Thank you for sharing how we ladies can think about ourselves in a positive way. I am tired of fighting the inevitable wrinkles, loss of muscle and just plain aging. I am 77 and in great health. Of course there are growing concerns about well working organs and the legacy I am leaving for the ones I love. I am now celebrating my wisdom and my years of knowledge! Thank you!

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Julie

      I find the wisdom and knowledge we have gained with age to be the most valuable.

  19. sandy says

    love this-and I support and 100% believe in doing whatever it is that makes us feel on the outside as we do inward. I had a mini facelift at age 55-i am a redhead, very pale and a lot of sun damage. Changed my confidence and life. I am so grateful that I did it. No regrets. But-I am not 67 and need the neck pulled up to meet the face! Nora Epron had it right with “I feel bad about my neck”. I am considering it but not too seriously. If I win the lotto perhaps.
    If we can dye our hair, where a good bra, sunscreen, make up, do what we enjoy daily…we should! The easiest thing to look fresher is hair dye. (unless you have amazing hair like Cindy) My redhair has darkened , still no grey, but more auburn, so I use a lighter dye with highlights. Why not? Why look weathered when it is so easy to brighten yourself up?
    Cheers to natural and whatever makes us feel good-but I am all supportive of doing whatever you need to do to feel your best self.

  20. Lyn says

    Nice post. Today would have been my husband and my 54th anniversary – he died suddenly and unexpectedly just 6 weeks ago. Pulling myself together is hard, but I have decided to “live my best life” whatever it is. He had the most wonderful attitude about life – live every day like it was your last. I have a wonderful daughter and son in law, and 2 great young granddaughters that are my whole world. We had planned on moving the 15 miles to their historic village to be closer. It’s still in the plan, but I am taking one day at a time. I am very fit, and take good care of myself. I hope that having a good attitude helps me along the way. I do use a great skin product line, but don’t go crazy buying product after product. When I look in the mirror I always say that wrinkle wasn’t there yesterday! I hope my French bob is what people notice, not my face.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Lyn

      Oh my…my heart goes out to you. I don’t doubt for a minute that you will find the strength to get through this. I have many remarkable readers that have been through what you are going through now. Holly are you out there? I hope they will share their thoughts with you. We need to add grateful to the list…

  21. Gray says

    Great piece!! I agree on all fronts.
    And you are so right when you say that the medical system is struggling. Struggling mightily.
    I have found out firsthand with my dad with Alzheimers what “memory care” really offers. And with myself in the last year with scary vaccine symptoms no doctor seems to care about, a failed finger surgery, and now hip issues no one can explain ( we need to talk).
    I have spent the last year watching my elderly parents deteriorate, and I feel like I’m up next. I can’t shake it.
    I really need a shot of Becky’s joy!🌸 Congratulations Becky!
    Maybe starting up State of Gray is just what will give me a shot in the arm – if I can get my parents stable for a few weeks, I will do just that.
    PS – there are two great IG feeds that might help your friend – @dementia_careblazers and @belightcare

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Gray

      Yes get that blog going again! You need to take care of you. I am working on a post about dementia etc. My friend will be reading. She is doing everything possible to keep him stable. She could probably teach the class. I am reading and listening to some of the literature and podcasts she has recommended. Maybe I should have her write a post!!

  22. Karen says

    Yes lets change that and this one,Congestive Heart Failure, to Congestive Heart Management. Its such a shocking diagnosis but one can manage t his for years.

  23. Kelli Enlow says

    Wonderful article! I am turning 75 next week and I agree with everything you said. I have tremendous energy, I’m still working in real estate, photography and doing some acting gigs here and there. There is still so much I would like to do and share with my loved ones and, gratefully, they honor me in so many ways. We still feel 35 inside, right? Let’s all embrace that zest for life and enjoy every moment of life – we never know when it’s our last.

  24. sussan says

    This is an article full of encouragement and wisdom. I struggle, however, with the fact that you had a well documented face lift and that wasn’t mentioned in this posting. It was generous of you to share that journey then but shouldn’t it be posted for people who might be “newbies” to your charming blog and wonder why they don’t look as wonderful as you do?

    Thank you for all of the time you give us.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Sussan

      I added an Editors note about the facelift at the end of the post, and linked to both posts. As you know, I have never made it a secret, and believe each of us should do what makes us feel best, whatever that may be. I am not going to talk about face lifts or procedures in every post about aging, just as I am not going to try and convince everyone to go gray just because I have chosen to. It is a personal decision. I always appreciate your comments and hope you understand.

  25. patricia nisenholz says

    LOVED this morning’s posting !! SO many nuggets within…. MY mantra is : My style is my biography.. but now adding AGING AWEsomely to it !!

    TYSM

  26. Becky Parham says

    This September I will turn 70. This year I also retire from a long career in Interior Design and (wait for it) I am getting married! As I plan our wedding celebration, I feel like I’m a 21 year old again. I’m reminded that it isn’t the number of years but are you doing something you love and that makes you want to leap out of bed each morning. At 70 I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. Sure I have some aches and pains and sometimes don’t recognize the person in the mirror. More than anything I am grateful to have lived long and have a lot more in front of me.

    • Cindy Hattersley says

      Hi Becky

      I will turn 70 in December. Congratulations! I am so excited to hear you are opening a new chapter of your life. I am so glad you shared your news with us.

  27. Rita says

    A wonderful example you are setting for Summer, on how to be a strong, confident woman. Thank you for making this space a place we can share and know others can give advice or share their experiences.

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