Do we want to fade into the sunset after 60? I don’t think so. Sure, we can choose to be seen or choose to disappear. Or, we can embrace positive aging and be thankful for the knowledge and experience it has given us. Let’s talk about three tips for overcoming invisibility and embracing empowerment after 60.
We can’t discount the obvious positive aging strategies of healthy eating (more whole grains, vegetables, beans and fruits) and physical fitness for avoiding obesity and attaining overall health. But, are we our own best enemies when it comes to aging with confidence?
HOW TO EMBRACE EMPOWERMENT AFTER 60
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGE
Does that sound difficult? “Those of us that feel connected are at less risk for depression, poor self esteem and even dementia”. Social isolation is the kiss of death. If you keep going, keep moving, and keep learning with like minded people it will have a positive affect on your quality of life. Productive social connections in late life will have a positive affect on your mind and body. Seek out a number of people that are living lives that you admire.
DON’T BECOME INVISIBLE
I recently had lunch with a new friend and she asked if I felt invisible? I hear this often about people our age. I asked her if she did? She said “hell no”. She commented that another friend had shared that she had begun to feel invisible. She was embracing negative stereotypes. I personally have never felt invisible, and I am not sure why. Have I felt old at times in my life? Of course I have. Did going gray make me feel old? When I put off a hip replacement (yes I have had two) thinking I could wait for the age of 65 and Medicare. That made me feel old. I was walking with a cane. I would get comments like “Honey can I open the door for you?” “Ma’am do you need help?”. Was I insulted? No. I created the misery myself. I was an active person who waited too long to get something simple fixed. It was my fault not that of anyone else. Being invisible is a choice. In the words of the late George Burns “You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get old” Don’t let the negative affect of depressive symptoms, anxiety, or loneliness become a disability or burden. Positive thinking, personal growth, and your mood can counteract any feelings of invisibility.
CHAMPION YOUR OWN SELF WORTH
If you let yourself become invisible, it has more to do with your level of self-confidence than age. Embrace your own self worth by filling yourself with strength, encouragement and vision. People will want to join your journey. Your behavior will reinforce this. Stand tall, and speak with confidence. The way we present ourselves tells others about how we handle the aging process. Stay Stylish. Style is ageless. (You might enjoy reading my post about Owning your Own Style here). Style has nothing to do with being trim, beautiful or young. Your style celebrates your life and who you are. Wear it proudly.
EMBRACE YOUR AGE
State your age proudly, confidently, fearlessly and loudly. It is empowering to accept and welcome your age. Would you honestly want to be 20, 30, or 40 again? Embrace midlife, and beyond. Accept that discount for “seniors” with honor. We aren’t “older adults” without purpose. We are vital participants in the process of healthy aging. The acceptance of positive aging, trumps the negative attitudes of”old age”.
FURTHER READING:
Los Angeles Daily News-How Older Women can Combat Feeling Invisible
Seven Tips for Avoid Feeling Insisible in Midlife
Successful aging and life satisfaction falls on us. We can choose to retain cognitive function, lead a healthy lifestyle, and to maintain a positive mindset. The way we speak to ourselves, and about ourselves speaks volumes. Thank you for reading Three Tips for Overcoming Invisibility and Embracing Empowerment After 60. You might also enjoy my post How to Age Positively with Grace here. I would love to hear if you feel invisible or empowered by your age. I can’t wait to get this conversation going.
My mom (84) was the youngest of 8 and my dad (died at 50 YO) was the youngest of nine, with 7 sisters!
I grew up surrounded by older, strong, awesome women (some more endearing than others).
My dad used to say to me when I was a kid (he died when I was 20): “You own three things- your perspective, your attitude and your actions” and it has served me well my entire life. Turning 60 this year and grateful for what I have, the people and the life.
Love your blog, lived in Paso for 2 years on a “sabbatical” and it was life transforming. Looking forward to having a ranch on the Central Coast someday.
Hi Valletta
We love it here in Paso. Love your story and hope you find your way back some day!
WOW! Congrats on a post that really spoke to your readers and encouraged interaction. It caught my eye because I will be 68 in a few weeks. I am also attending my high school 50 year reunion soon, which is a sign of getting older if anything is! I am anxious to see my classmates and learn what 68 looks like on everyone. My husband and I have been having a conversation lately about trying to stay “relevant” as we age. I’m not sure that is the best word but it’s the best we’ve found so far. We are purposing to (try) to keep up with movies, books, sports, all kinds of cultural phenomenon so we can join the conversation. Example: the current Barbie movie. A bunch of my friends said “nah, not interested”. We (yes, he went too) were excited to go so we could see what the buzz was and talk about it afterwards with people of all ages. One way I try to stay relevant is to read all of my “old lady bloggers”, as I refer to them. I don’t mean this to sound derogatory, but it is to distinguish them from the youngster bloggers (my daughter is one of them). I’m always telling a friend…she recommended this book, movie, makeup, travel attire, whatever. I appreciate what you do!
One thing I deal with is an invisible problem – chronic pain. My right leg is messed up due to numerous knee surgeries. I have healed but the pain is still with me and it’s a daily journey and challenge as I navigate life. To be sitting somewhere and have my leg feel burning, stinging and just uncomfortable is not fun, and no one can see it. Only my closest friends really know about it, and even then it’s hard to understand what dealing with chronic discomfort in your body is really like. But I power on…take one day at a time…exercise daily within my limits…nurture friendships always…and cherish my long term marriage. And my adult kids and fabulous grandkids! Thanks for listening.
Hi Linda
My husband Steve has dealt with chronic ankle pain since he has his first accident in high school. He reinjured it over almost 20 years ago. He never complains about pain (very little anyway) and keeps a positive attitude. He recently had his ankle fused and is now pain free. He still has swelling but it’s bearable. He has gone back to playing golf and enjoying life.
These words inspire me in my Act III:
“There is no one more driven and more fierce than a 50+ woman who feels like she hasn’t done her greatest work or her greatest thing yet.”
Hi Janet
I absolutely adore this. I have an interview coming up where two of my favorite young people will be interviewing me. It will be totally off the cuff.
I love this quote Janet!! ❤️
I have to say that social media consumption is a part of some of these feelings of no longer mattering due to age. It is a fact that each day is a gift and all of us are lucky to be here. Everyone of us has known loved ones who were not given the opportunity to age.
I think you are probably right Karen. I do get irritated that brands don’t feature more women “of a certain age”. There are so many amazing women with style and who are doing amazing things at 50 and way way beyond. Come on brands.
Great article! Can you share the make of your long red (Linen?) coat/tunic in group pic at top and the Red cotton shirt?
thank you!
Gretchen
A great topic and discussion! I am 75 and overweight ( former model too) but I dress with verve and rarely feel unseen. Recently my husband and I moved to a retirement community and surprisingly here we find more interesting adventurous like minded people as well as a plethora of activities. I have been limping in recent months due to hip bursitis and that does make me feel and appear old. I am determined to overcome it and move with more grace. Posture, good nutrition, a positive attitude, curiosity, companionship, physical activity and a senses of purpose are all so important. Rock on!
Hi Cindy,
I have five years on you and there have been incidences of feeling like some younger people don’t notice you. I don’t mind, I might have been the same way at their age. I’m surrounded by friends that share my enthusiasm and interest in staying active and informed. We enjoy our lives and are there for each other when we hit one of life’s speed bumps. My friends and I agree we will keep trying to stay connected and enjoy each day to its fullest.
Great post.
Karen B.
Hi Cindy,
Gee what a meaningful subject to bring up. It sure gets you thinking about the people you know as well as yourself. Sometimes through life experiences and the career path you have chosen can cause you to feel invisible . When you are around high achievers you are dealing with enormous egos that don’t talk to you in respectful ways that can cause you to feel invisible. I have sensed this with a person I know.,The day my sister-in-law shared with me she felt invisible I just listened. This was at least 20 years ago. In those days that word was not really mentioned or talked about that I remember.
Chronic heath issues are extremely difficult to live with that can cause you to feel invisible at times. If you are healthy and active that word is not a part of your vocabulary.
The photos you shared and the pearls of wisdom speak volumes. I love each one that tells a story. The one of you ….”this is 68! embrace YOUR AGE says it all. You can be the poster lady for this powerful subject.
Thank you for bringing up such a meaning full subject. I read some of the comments and we all had great things to say.
Hi Katherine
You have made some excellent points. I hope we can all come together with this conversation. I always appreciate your thoughtful responses Katherine.
Oh my goodness! I have read through all of your readers’ comments, and wish to add my own to this excellent conversation…because it has become a conversation…don’t you think Cindy?
I am a healthy active 73 year old who has many interests…Pilates, cycling, water workouts, gardening , painting, and reading . I began to travel more once turning 65 when I came into a bit of money from a Scottish relative. This is now more often on my own.
My husband shares few of my interests, is up at his workshop with cars and motorcycles a lot, and looks at his I -pad more and more, so there’s less and less conversation and engagement. Not the retirement I envisioned! So in many ways I feel quite invisible within the marriage and quite alone. Unfortunately , my 2 adult children have not included me in their lives ( thus the grandchildren too) for many years.
So… I have chosen to I travel , due to my curiosity regarding history and culture, and particularly enjoy conversations with the people I meet. I am quite out going , so that helps, and always ask about others’ stories. It’s such fun meeting people while travelling . And rarely do I feel invisible when I travel. I do need to save now for my future adventures, as the pot is rather empty, but these trips do help keep me sane ..ha ha!
I have one very lovely friend here, but due to Covid, the groups for newcomers in this community sort of disappeared. It can be a challenge to meet older women , especially when one does not play golf or tennis, or cards! A volunteer group was good, until a few women kind of ruined the joy there. I am considering how I can give back within my community and meet people that way. When out walking , I am noticing more people with ear buds, so starting a conversation is a challenge . Always can rely on people walking with dogs! It’s funny how an enjoyable conversation can fill your heart.
I enjoy colour in my outfits, and feel confident in my style, so no shrinking violet there! Just one reason your blog inspires, Cindy ! So good to chat!
Hi Cath
I sincerely hope your children see the light and bring you back into their lives. I don’t think it is fair to rob children of a relationship with their grandparents. I am so glad you have travel and that connection to like minded peeps. Thank you for bringing up the Covid issue. I certainly enjoy your discourse here. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you.
Cindy, I’m 77 and happy that I found your blog. Love your style. Mine is similar to yours but have learned more accessorizing tips from you. I hate that more women in our age group don’t care more about themselves to make the best of their appearance, health and celebration of age in a stylish sense
.
Hi Judy
I do think looking our best is part of our overall well being. Someone once commented that there was only “fluff” here. I feel like I am surrounded by a group of bright, vibrant, stylish women. Is that “fluff”? I don’t think so.
Agreed, Judy. What’s worse are the women who aren’t interested in fashion, but ridicule those that take an interest with their appearance. Actually had a neighbor who told me all my clothes screamed, “Look at me! Look at me!”. I was wearing white jeans, a linen shirt, and some hoop earrings. Can’t imagine what she’d have to say about this blog. She wouldn’t be able to appreciate all these beautiful, vibrant, and like-minded women. Have been trying to make new friends and considered getting to know this woman better, but quickly came to my senses. How do you move forward with someone who behaves like that? Carry on, and don’t let anyone dull your sparkle 🙂
Hi Kim
I LOVE your attitude!
Cindy, you’re most definitely leading by example. I love the George Burns quote … and he’s on the money. I like to keep in mind the example I’m setting for younger women, like my nieces. So they know that life gets better and more interesting each decade. Of course, they can’t imagine ever being as old as me! xo
Hi Juliet
Exdellent comment! I am glad you touched on it. I never met my paternal grandparents (they died before I was born), and my maternal grandparents were interesting (not in a good way). I don’t want Summer to think her grandparents are old fuddy duddies!
Hi Cindy,
Thank you I needed to hear this. I turned 75 last week and have really struggled with the number. I know better than to think the number matters but for some reason have had trouble shaking it. I, too, have silver hair but wear it in classics cut and get many compliments. I don’t really feel invisible but you’ve given me some inspiration to do more self reflecting . My golf group are women of similar age to me and we talk about this very topic. Thanks much for your words and prospective on this subject.
Hi Bar
I know what you mean, I will be 69 in December. It does give me pause. All I have to do is think of my friend Sandra who is sharp as a tack and full of fun in her 80’s. She has had health issues but doesn’t let them get her down. I have another friend since childhood who now has to wear braces on her legs for the second time in her life. She is in her 70’s and one of the most positive people I know. They inspire me every day.
Cindy, what a nice topic. I know many women feels invisible when reaching mid age. Lido I feel invisible? Definitely not, I love being a mid aged woman and I’m so grateful for reaching this age with still so much zest for life , even though my body can’t give me as much as I would love to, I’m just as hungry for life as I was during my 30s. I’ve learned to embrace everything that comes with age and use it to my advantage, isn’t it nice being excused to leave a party earlier because you’re tired ( or maybe just too old ) not to stay longer ? Luckily I was born a woman and can enjoy all the little things, makeup, jewelry, hair accessories. , needless color coordinations and so on . Life has threw me a curve ball and I use that as a tool to keep myself busy and preparing for the future. Honestly, I’m aiming for celebrating my 100th birthday
Hi Liana
One of these days you are going to have to let me interview you for Ageless Style. You are positively amazing and have so much to share. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I feel so muh more secure at this age, than I did in my 30’s or 40’s. You rock girl!!
Hello Cindy,
I enjoy every one of your posts and they are refreshing and inspirational. But this one really elicited some deep reflections. I will save this one to read again.
One more thing, I absolutely love your gray linen outfit. Have you already shared where one can find it? I would love to know where you found it!
Thank you so much,
Peggy
Hi Cindy, great post and great comments.
I’m a white haired 72. I never feel invisible because I chiefly don’t really care about being visible or not. I’m someone who takes great joy from solitude. Equally I enjoy chatting with the world beyond my front door.
I began a Substack newsletter (Knots in the String) 2 years ago about Life, the Universe and Everything and in that serendipitous moment, met folk of like minds, not like ages, and that has been so refreshing, keeping my mind and attitudes vital and fresh.
I attend ballet class with other seniors and dance in our annual concert – it’s classical ballet and we have united in laughter and happiness like you wouldn’t believe, forever astonished at what we achieve.
There are moments that remind me my body is ageing but I take it on the chin and do everything I can to keep mobile – my own gardens, my own house, our farm, my family. But more important to me than anything is as long as I’m a member of a 2-part team (husband and self) and a board made of family members based on deep love and respect, I doubt I’ll ever feel invisible.
Thank you again for the great post.
Cindy, thank you for hosting this community of Soul Sisters!
It’s true, this invisibility thing is societally real, and it’s true, we can change our own script!
A hard yes to self care– eating healthy, exercising if possible , sleeping, keeping our style on, keeping our brains turned on and tuned in!
I started being kind and gentle to myself, and spoiling myself rotten.
I stopped comparing myself to the younger me and started embracing myself in the present moment.
Turns out to be a happier way to live.
“As so within, as so without”
XO
Cindy,
Thank you for this breath of fresh air! Yes, I was feeling invisible back in when I was 64. I really only just now thought about age. I was always too busy and active.
But the summer of being 64 – the year before Medicare signup, every day my mailbox was filled with ads that said to me, “YOU ARE OLD!” “NEED A CEMETERY PLOT?” I now realize I feel ten years younger than my numerical age.
I was feeling invisible!
When I discussed it with a friend in her 40s, she suggested I write a blog. And that is how” Distinctly Southern Style” was born in 2016.
I don’t deny my age, which is 72. The current blessings of my life would only be possible with being my age.
But I don’t advertise it.
Because if we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Rosemary Davis
Hi Rosemary
I must come visit your blog! Blogging is great therapy isn’t it? I agree with you about the cemetary plot mail and all the other hooha…a little depressing. I will say that AARP has so much valuable information with interesting guest editors.
Thank you, Cindy. Your post today couldn’t be more timely. I don’t know precisely when it happened or what might have triggered the moment, but I went from feeling visible and vibrant to feeling 100% invisable and ashamed of my age. All of this occurred within the past year! I’m only 65 years old, but my thoughts are those of a woman 40 years older. On any given day, my thoughts are: “I’m too old to do that now”; “I’m too old to wear this”; “Who cares if I don’t wear any makeup, I’m old”; “I wish I would have done that 10 years ago”; “I can’t go there, I’m too old”, the list goes on. I’ve become less social, more inactive…my self-confidence has hit rock bottom. Many days, I sense some anxiety and depression trying to emerge. My 70 year old husband has the same energy and zest for life as our teenage grandsons. I felt a spark reading your post and the comments from other readers. I’m holding on to this and reading it at least once a day. If you or your readers have suggestions or links to sources to help me break this habit…I appreciate and welcome any and all. Many thanks for this post.
Judy, I am 78 and disabled now but still dress stylish for my 5’2” ten pounds overweight self. I wear my white and silver hair in a chin length Bob and push my rollator briskly and stand straight. I smile in the mirror and say what is up today? I text my girlfriends and talk to my children on the phone. I read a lot. I color in my spare time or when pain makes me stop. I love Audible books. I love my 81 year old active husband. Smiles and hugs go a long way. I read this blog, Jennifer Connelly A well styled life and Pamela Lutrell s blogs to start my day with a smile. If a negative thoughts creep in think of how beautiful the day is or your grandchildren. Anything that will make you smile.
Hi Sidney
Welcome! You are the poster “child” of what I am speaking about. It isn’t about not being well, or being disabled is it? It’s about attitude and positivity. I bet that sassy husband of yours knows he got the catch of a lifetime. P.S I like Jennifer and Pam too.
Hi Judy
I know I speak for everyone here. We all would love to help anyway we can. If you don’t mind I will email you some things when they come across my desk. Do you subscribe to AARP. I don’t work for them. I just think they have so many resources for people our age. I told my friend Sanda (80+) today. She was avoiding it because she thought it was all old lady stuff too. Denise Austin has simple exercises that anyone can start out doing. I love weight watchers for eating healthy. It is easy, you don’t have to buy food, and it is healthy. I need to exercise more and lose weight as well. I weigh more right now than I have in years. Too much time in front of the computer. We have all been where you are. Let us know how we can help. There is a fantastic group of women here that would love to help.
I listened to a great Mel. Robbins podcast yesterday where she is talking to her 86 year old mother-in -law. Very positive! Give it a listen
Hi Colleen
Do you have a link to share? I bet there are many here that would enjoy it!!
I really enjoyed the post than’ you Cindy. I do think “ invisibility” is a real problem. I am 59 and have grey hair and currently job hunting for work in other fields. I used to be an actor. l can tell immediately when on a zoom call interview in those first seconds when the recipient sees my hair and writes me off as being too old. Also in films and television the older woman is always written a certain way,on the sidelines ,if she is there at all. . I am enjoying Julia Louis Dreyfus podcast “Wiser than Me” . And when l really want attention l find wearing color does wonders and keeping up to date with new jewelry and speaking up and being knowledgeable about events happening now. It’s not that l feel invisible it’s that society around me often treats me as such.
Francesca
After growing out my gray (long hair) for 8 months I had my hairdresser make me a brunette again. So weird. Suddenly I feel younger and visible. Hope you find that dream job. I will listen to that podcast. Thank you for speaking up.
Francesca
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know from your comments (I feel like I know you) that you are vital and interesting. Shame on anyone that cannot look beyond anyone’s hair or age. I will say that I am curently frustrated with the mainstream retailers for ignoring our demographic. I was approached by a a company whose name I will not mention a year or so ago. I don’t think they looked at my profile carefully. I am pretty sure they saw my age and said no thanks.
Well l think you are amazing. Cindy and the affection is mutual.
I always follow you first in the blogs for our demographic for fashion and style advice and for conversation as you have it “going on” !! So more fools them. Sending love xox
Big hugs right back Francesca! Those young squirts don’t know what they are missing out on not hiring you!!
Thank you for this post. So very true!
Hi Cathy
We needed to give fashion and decor a break and “put the world back on its access” as my Aunt Dodo used to say.
Just this morning before reading your post I had the thought “I’m too young to be old or maybe I’m too old to be this young”. At 75 and just retired last year I’m still finding my way in a world without a career to define who I am, child to tend to and being single. It’s not always easy but the best medicine for me has always been daily exercise and walking meditation no matter the weather. Age is a number but mindset determines the attitude.
Hi Megan
Thank you for being fearless.
ABSOLUTELY. WONDERFUL. POST. Thank you!!!
Of course!
Thank you very much Debra.
Just what I needed to read today and EVERY day! Thanks for the insight and words of wisdom, Cindy!!
Hi Mary
Sometimes I hear things that make me wonder…I know I can always count on you ladies for valuable information.
Hi Mary
Thank you for reading.
RIGHT ON!!!! So well said. You hit all the important points!!! But then again you’re the poster child for great aging!
Oh hardly!! You are!!
Who me INVISIBLE?
Not in the last few years but as stated above HEALTH can rip into YOUR LIFE and RUIN IT!Yesterday I had a plan to get a pedicure/manicure been wanting to do it for a month now!AS I was deleting old emails in the early morning hours my eyes went.I lost my vision.No way could I make it to my sofa or bed.After a few minutes with eyes shut and CLOSED I was able to get there only to develop a terrible headache.
For me it’s DAY by DAY LIVING.
I have been SLOWLY PULLING BACK NOW as you know and am afraid MORE is to come.
YOU WILL NEVER BE INVISIBLE!
I didn’t know you had to use a cane!
Hi Eliz
Nore will you!!
In order not to feel invisible having a purpose is essential and helping others is a source of identity as well. It is not only about the self.
Also many people are not as fortunate to be financially secure and independent and have choices available to them without worrying about survival , family demands , health issues etc
Hi Irene
Thank you so much for your comment. I went into detail in the post that I linked to about the importance of helping others etc. This time I decided to focus on the self rather than be repetitive. Do you think financial insecurity lends itself to feeling invisible? That is an interesting thought.
Well written!!! Shared with my 78 year old mom who has been sick lately!! I needed it too!!!
Hi Natalie
Give our best to your mom. Health issues can be so disheartening.
Thank you Cindy for starting the conversation about invisibility for women of a certain age. I had a similar conversation with some gal pals a week ago. But what I believe is the elephant in the room is much worse than fading away and feeling invisible. You see, they come from a point of view of securely married women. The number of single for whatever reason women over 50 is rising very quickly. I work hard to stay in the game but those of us singles are often left out of events. Or we have no one to attend something with. It’s absurd but having a partner gives a woman more opportunity and visibility. When I read blogs like this I realize most of the bloggers are coupled up. You are out wine tasting. Or having other couples to dinner. And now one of my dear friends in my circle is facing down her partner’s imminent death. She’s not only facing aging but a life alone. That life where you decide whether to attend something and have no partner by your side. We need to see more discussion about the invisibility of being a senior with no partner. And it’s the same for straight vs gay. I might be one of the lucky ones because of my career but it doesn’t hurt any less. Don’t forget to include your single friends and family. You may someday become one of them.
Same. I came here to comment, but you have already said it. As a recent widow everything you have written is 100% accurate.
Hi Pamela
Interesting. I would love to hear more.
Hi Leslie
Great point. I actually have two very active and engaged single friends, but they are both extremely outgoing. Wren are you reading this? I hope you can chime in. This is great conversation. We include my friend Wren whenever her busy schedule allows. I never think about not including her because she is single. Is it just me?
Cindy it’s really mixed. Of course I have some single friends but some of them I rarely hear from. I’ve gone back through old address books to reconnect with people. But bottom line it’s a couples world. I was in a relationship for four years and we got tons of invites. But he was so abusive behind closed doors that I ended it. And then the invites slowed way down. My European friends say that seniors and elders are included in almost everything. Here not so much. I guess it’s cultural but older lovely women are discarded. I’m even trying to relocate now to find someplace I fit in. Who thought this would ever be an aging issue?? If I want to be socially active I have to do 90% of the planning. I guess someone has to be the ring leader.
Hi Leslie
This is so interesting. Sometimes it is good to make a change. I may offend those from where I came, but I will say that people here are much more open to meeting new people and are friendlier as a rule. Maybe it is easy for some to get locked into their comfortable social circle. I personally don’t want to be in a group where everyone thinks and looks exactly the same as me. I enjoy learning from others and making new friends.
Oh my gosh, Cindy! I have to stop right here and feel the chills your comment has me feeling! I am so fortunate to have you and Steve come into my life. I also have several other couple friends in the area who include me and don’t seem to mind that I am single. I also got “adopted” by 2 couples on a recent trip to Egypt and we have remained in contact since. I would never want to be perceived as a threat to a woman that I’m going to try to steal her husband! It takes a secure woman who won’t be jealous. My life is so full at this age and thankfully, I have the funds and health to enjoy many of the good things in life. Next week I leave for a month of travel abroad……by myself! I always go with an open mind and have so many fun adventures. This blog was wonderfully written and I can attest that getting older doesn’t mean getting old. I’m a grandmother but am nothing like either of my grandmothers who really did seem OLD. Keep a youthful outlook and keep up with what younger people are interested in. I’ve also found a church here in town which brings me much joy (I hadn’t been inside a church for 50 years). I am amazed by the number of young couples who attend, also Cal Poly students. There seems to be no ageism. They engage me and it’s so refreshing. The pastor, 39 y.o., has such up-lifting messages, you can’t help but go walking out on a cloud. At first after I cut my hair and let it go silver, it took me awhile to get my self-confidence back up to where it had been but now I love showing by example to other younger women. They don’t need to fear getting older. We are setting new standards for what it means to age. I’m feel so fortunate to live in these times. Embrace it!
Hi Wren
For all of you, Wren and I met through this blog. I was hoping she would comment because she is the perfect example of a confident single woman that is definitely not invisible. We include her anytime we can because we enjoy her company. I am glad Leslie mentioned including your single friends. I would never think about not including someone because they were single. But thank you for sharing that Leslie!
This post resonated with me. Sometimes it feels like there is a certain lack of visibility, especially from younger generations. I suppose we were all guilty of it to some extent when we were younger. Another factor of aging is being called honey, sweetie, and the like. It’s well intended, but sometimes feels dismissive or patronizing. One day I read a quote that said when we look upon the older generations, we are looking at someone’s child. This person, who some might dismiss, has a lifetime of stories and experiences: passion, disappointments, adventures, and more. There’s a video by Elvis Costello, called “Veronica”. While he looks at an elderly woman in a home, there is a montage of her life which was far from dull. Thank you for reminding us of the importance of empowerment and that growing older is a rite of passage. Here’s to actively participating in life no matter where we are on the timeline.
Hi Kim
Oh don’t get me started on honey and sweetie…yikes! Yes to a lifetime of stories, experiences and passions. I have got to check out that video by Elis Costello. Thank you so much for sharing.
Well said!
Hi Mary (my old pal since kindergarten)
Mary is recuperating from serious leg surgery, and I know cannot wait until she can toss the walker!
Cindy,
I love this conversation.
I would first day this, LIFE IS A GIFT! NO matter your age. NEVER take one day for granted.
My brother in law is 61, he was recently diagnosed with advanced dementia(not sure the medical term). He cannot work, can’t drive and is slowly fading away. His father had the same thing and passed at 65.
That said, women especially feel the labels that society puts on them…to be thin, to be pretty, to keep herself in shape and always look her best, to do whatever she has to do to keep herself looking youthful. Did I forget to mention to raise the kids, hold down a job and make life fabulous for everyone around her? I recently read of a study that said that men think the perfect age of a woman is 26!
What does feeling invisible feel like? Do these people that feel invisible mean no one is paying attention them? They are no longer complimented on their looks? People shut the door in their face? I do not understand?
Ladies, live your life the way you like. You are only invisible if you want to be. Walk tall, wear what you like, add some red lipstick, some fancy jewelry, wear a ball gown to a party. No ONE can make you feel invisible if you don’t want to be.
If you feel like you are not seen make some noise!
Thank you for sharing your tips Cindy! I can see why you never feel invisible because your smile is bright and beautiful and command attention!
Hi Elizabeth
You always bring something valuable to the table! I should say one reason I have never felt invisible is because I was badly burned as a child. I have had people stare at me my entire life. What I did to compensate was smile and pretend it didn’t matter. Pretty soon it didn’t!
Thanks for the reminder that as long as we are here, our lives have great worth and purpose. This year brought a ‘big’ birthday, as you know. We live in a earthly culture that celebrates ‘youth’ and outer beauty. That is ‘upside down’ from reality as God see it! He sees great beauty and worth in those who have gained wisdom and maturity of character through living longer years. He wants us to take care of our ‘earthly body’..to care for it and keep it strong; and be actively engaged in life until He calls us home. Ps. 92:14: “They will still bear fruit in old age, they are ever full of sap and green..” Ps. 16:31: “Gray hair is a crown of glory, it is gained in a righteous life.” Ps. 90:12 “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Those who have lived longer have much to share, much to teach the next generations, and great joy to be discovered with each day here….while looking forward with great anticipation to one day going home to Heaven where we will be eternally young!!
Beautifully said!
Thank you, Pamela. As a widow, I have found comfort and company in our church family. I was transparent when asked, “How can we help?” My reply, “Please help me stay socially connected.” They have all blessed me. I’ve never been made to feel like the 3rd or 5th wheel.
Who makes the linen red duster you have on? It is gorgeous!
Hi Barb
It is old old Eileen Fisher. Try eBay. I bought it on eBay probably five years ago.
Dear Cindy – as always a wonderful post and timely for many of us! Just spent the last few days with my two closest girl pals (we are all 71) shopping for clothes and chunky fun jewelry. We are owning our style and often credit you with ideas and encouragement! Stay active – celebrate movement – drink good wine and laugh at every opportunity. Thank you! Anna from Arizona – cooling off in Oregon!
Hi Anna
I always appreciate your insightful comments. Have a glass of wine for me!
While I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiment in general, there are sadly many physical health conditions that do by their very nature render one to become invisible.
A friend is dying from a progressive neurological disorder, now unable to walk, talk or eat they are now confined to home, invisible to the outside world.
Another suffered life changing injuries and is housebound because she is bowel incontinent, this makes her socially isolated, apart from our phone calls.
Embrace good health, while we have it.
Hi Jocasta
You are absolutely right. Some of us become invisible not out of choice but out of necessity. Thank you for reminding us.
Cindy,
This was a wonderful post. You hit on all the things older people or should I say women go through. I agree that you have to have confidence in yourself & your age. It’s hard to hear women put themselves down. I have a friend that constantly does that, saying “I don’t know how to decorate”. “I don’t know how to do this or that”. How do you help someone like that?
Anyway, thank you your your post it was awesome!
That is a good question Susan. I guess we need to remind them of their strengths and let them know that not everyone is good at everything.
Cindy, great post! I am 67 and exercise 7 times per week. Feel great and am keeping engaged with too many volunteer jobs and of course, my blog, Life at Bella Terra. Just writing the blog has opened up many opportunities for learning and new friends I think people start feeling “old” when their bodies hurt-but so much of that is self-imposed with inactivity, poor diet and relying on that magic pill to make your feel better. Fresh food, fresh air and movement are the key! Plus a great haircut lifts the spirits!
Hi Mary
All excellent points. I need to adopt your excercise plan!!