It is Sunday and it is time for Mary Ann, Annie, and I to share our five favorite things that caught our eye this week. I am sorry I have been mia on Instagram and Social Media this week. It has been a bit of a rough one. I haven’t gone into much detail because quite honestly it was just too painful. But life goes on so let’s take a look at Sunday Fab Five-Madewell-Grief and More.
My Sister Cathy-
My sister passed away on Thursday at the age of 70. She was five years my senior. In some ways, we led different lives because of that age difference. Our parents divorced when I was twelve and my sister watched over me. She tried to keep me out of trouble and mostly succeeded. We both lived with my mom (because that is what you did back then) for a year or so. My sister went off to college and we both moved in with my dad (let me tell you that was an experience in the beginning). My sister was an overachiever and conquered anything she took on. She was a star student in high school, cheerleader, and first chair clarinet player. She excelled in college and went on to be one of the few females “working in a man’s world” back in the day. She eventually became a partner in a very successful bond trading firm in Chicago. She was a gourmet cook and a beautiful entertainer. She dressed beautifully with an artful style all her own. She and my brother-in-law retired to Napa after many years in Chicago. They loved the weather, the wine, and the food scene. Cathy hired me to oversee the building and design of their Napa home which gave me the confidence to go out on my own. I will always be grateful to her for that. We had many good times together while they lived in Napa and San Francisco. Everyone loved going to their house for Thanksgiving. They later settled in Florida where she could be near her dear friends. There she passed away after a long struggle with alcoholism. We tried many times to get her help but she just couldn’t do it. If you have someone you love that is afflicted with that deadly disease, I hope you can save them before it is too late.
Cathy and her husband Pat at their Grand Cayman home, one of their happy places.
Cathy and our life long friend Cheryl who looked after her until her last day
On a lighter note, my sister who was much more of a gourmet than I gave me a lot of cookbooks over the years. I love to cook but to be honest she was the type of cook who would spend all day perfecting a recipe. You can probably imagine how many of those were opened. Ironically one time she brought me a cookbook that she had received two of. I almost didn’t even open it. If you love simple fresh french food you will love this cookbook Patricia Wells at home in Provence.
Madewell 20% off for Insiders
I finally made it into a Madewell Store when we met for Kim’s birthday. I have been desperate for some new jeans and I always have good luck at Madewell. They are not too pricey and really hold up. Rarely are jeans on sale so if you need a pair now is the time if you are an insider. I came home with the vintage high rise jean. I should have sized down and gotten a petite. I am ordering. Here are the other pretties that caught my eye or in my shopping cart.
KIMS FRIDAY FUN STUFF
You might enjoy checking out Kim’s Friday fun stuff here. I am adding her potato leek soup to my fall soup repertoire. Who knew leeks were a superfood.
The Milieu Showhouse
I have been meaning to add this to my Sunday faves ever since I received the issue covering the showhouse. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for the team to pull off a showhouse during the height of the pandemic. However, what Pam Pierce and her team accomplished was one of the most beautiful showhouses I have seen to date. What was so special about it you ask? Like other show homes, it was filled with inspirational ideas. The difference, this one was cohesive. The rooms flowed. It looked like a house one could imagine living in. Each room wasn’t a different style, pattern, or color. It looked liveable. I am anxious to hear your thoughts. The good news is if you are interested in seeing it in its entirety and donating to the Clayton Dabney Children’s Cancer foundation you can make a $20 donation and take a virtual tour here
Pretty living room designed by Milieu founder decorator Pamela Pierce. Love the juxtaposition of the feminine furniture with the ethnic rug.
Studio McGee Headed to Netflix
Anyone else excited about Studio Mcgee’s new Netflix show? You can read about it here.
I have to admit I don’t watch a lot of (well maybe none) reality and HGTV shows, but this one has me excited!
Thank you so much for reading. I am sorry I just didn’t have the energy to devote the amount of time I should to today’s post. My sister’s death really threw me for a loop even though know we knew it was inevitable. She was a vibrant, active, fun-filled woman who had it all. Unfortunately, alcoholism got the best of her. For those of you that have been through a similar death please share your thoughts. She left behind two daughters who are missing her terribly.
Next week is going to be a busy blogging week . Susan from Une Femme, Vicki Archer, and I are sharing thoughts on finding your own style, and we have our annual fall fashion post coming up on Thursday. Now please stop by and visit Mary Ann and Annie and see what they are sharing.
As always, thank you for sharing your Sunday and reading Sunday Fab Five-Madewell Grief and More.
Cindy, Please accept my sincere condolences over the loss of you beloved older sister. She sounds like a wonderful and accomplished woman who led a fascinating life. I can’t imagine your pain and that of your entire family over such a devastating loss. Alcoholism is a dreadful thing for all concerned. My former husband – a wonderful man – suffered as well. I did everything I knew how at the time and eventually left the marriage. He died several years later while driving erratically on Hwy 12 in Kenwood. Fortunately no one else was harmed. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and what a magical person he was, and I wonder if I had done or tried something more would he still be alive. My heart goes out to you. xo
Oh Juliet thank you so much. That’s what I tell my niece. We tried everything we knew how, but I agree you always wonder if you could have done more. I am so sorry for your loss as well. but I know you have a wonderful husband now.
Cindy,
I am so sorry for your loss. The pain runs deep.. I the last few years I have lost a daughter, brother and just 2 months ago my dearest Mom (91 years.)
The strength of family and friends can help get you through but I find my relationship with our Lord has been the greatest help. I hope you find peace.
I am sooo incredibly sorry for your loss!! Take your time and heal well!
I’m so sorry for your loss of your sister. It’s incredibly hard to watch a loved one struggle with this demon. Growing up my dad was a very unhappy, angry alcoholic. As adults, we all had a second chance. We had a much better relationship and my kids had loving and caring grandpa. Prayers for you and your family and hoping you will find peace in the love you shared.
Cindy, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear sister. I count you as a friend even though we have never met. I don’t have a sister, only a brother. We have grown closer over the years, especially as we shared in the care of our mother before she passed. But, interestingly, I have felt a real longing for a sister for the past few years. Never before, but now in this stage of life it would seem really comforting to have a sister. I am blessed with bunches of friends, but a sister would seem to be friendship at a different level. I am grateful for my two daughters and hope they can have, as they grow older, a close sisterly relationship.. Best to you and your family.
Hi Linda
Thank you so much for your kind words, and my best to your sweet daughters.
I’m deeply sorry for your loss, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Angie
Thank you so much I appreciate your prayers.
So so sorry for your loss. I’m very familiar with the devasting effects of alcoholism. Sometimes you just can’t save your loved ones, even though you try. She sounds like your sister did have an amazing life.
Take care.
Hi Sheila
You are so right. We can’t save them if they won’t save themselves.
Hi Cindy,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sister. I’m so sad for you. Try to keep your happy memories close. Cathy sounds like she was a really bright light, you wrote a beautiful tribute to her life.
One thing I learned from my experience living with an alcoholic (my first husband committed suicide at 29) is that you can’t blame yourself or keep asking what you could have done more of, or differently. The truth is there isn’t anything you could have changed. Please be good to yourself during these early days of grief. In time you will have only the good things to remember and keep close to your heart.
Hugs and my deepest condolences,
XO Heidi
Dear Cindy, I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. I was raised by a single mother who was an alcoholic all my life until she died when I was 24 in a self-inflicted fire. I am now 72 and I miss never having had a relationship with her. I’m so thankful that Cathy’s husband and children have extended family to lean on at this terrible, fragile time. We never truly know what inner demons the alcoholic struggles with or why many rehab visits never take hold. I wish you and your family God’s peace and to always find “a safe place to land” when the grief and loss of what will never be overwhelms.
Sincerely, Judy
Hi Judy
You are so right about the inner demons. I hope my niece reads your comment “a safe place to land”.
Cindy, I just read this and my heart is broken for you. You never gave up hope for Cathy. There is no doubt she knew how much she was loved by you and Cheryl. That must have been a great comfort to her. I know how it is to lose a family member. A sister that close is extremely hard. You are in our thoughts and prayers. We send our love.
Hi Pat
Thank you so much. We miss you guys.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hi Jan,
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers.
Cindy, my condolences to you and your family. I hope you hold onto the wonderful memories. Stay well.
Hi Cheryl
I certainly plan to do just that. Thank you so much.
Hi Cindy. I am so sorry to hear your sad news. no matter what the circumstances the loss of a sibling is hard. thinking of you and sending love and prayers from Western Australia
Hi Yvette,
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sister. She accomplished so much in her life and 70 years old is way too short of a life. I truly think that many types of addictions happen to people who strive for perfection and feel failure more than most. Just my tiny view. Rest in peace, Cathy.
I love Patricia Wells, I have several of her cookbooks. Very basic and traditional French food, a great friend of Ina Garten.
I’m super excited for the Studio McGee Show. From reading their Their IG account and blog, I’m a fan. I also love their line at Target. Super affordable for those watching their budget.
Looking forward to more posts. I need to catch up. Things are so crazy busy right now-I need to devote an hour or two to keep my blog moving.
Jane 😘
Hi Jane
Thanks pal for your kind thoughts. That Patricia Wells cookbook is a good one. I love Ina Garten as well. There are so many recipes out there anymore that are never tested but Ina’s are always good. Looking forward to Studio McGee.
So sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a loved one. I am very aware of alcoholism. My grandfather, 3 cousins, brother and my daughter are alcoholics. Luckily my daughter is a non drinking alcoholic for 4 years now, and I count my blessings that we finally found the right rehab for her after many different attempts. I also have a cousin and 2nd cousin that died from the disease and my grandfather did also. It is an awful disease and I feel terrible for anyone who has it. So many people don’t understand the disease and think they should just have the willpower to stop.
Hi Laura
Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations to your daughter. It certainly is an insidious disease.
Laura thank you for reinforcing the fact that it is a disease. Good luck to your darling daughter in her sobriety.
Oh Cindy, I am so sorry for your loss. You are so brave and generous to share Cathy’s story. Alcholism is a cruel disease and sickness, but unlike other diseases, no one wants to admit it or talk about it. How difficult that must be. I think sharing Cathy’s story and reading the comments is truly the best thing you can do… talk about it. It’s so important to start the conversation. Sending you lots of love! annie
Hi Annie
You are absolutely right about it being cathartic. I am so grateful to my readers for sharing their experiences and their supportive thoughts.
Cindy, You were so brave to share your family’s story about your sister. It helps others so much to read that others are also struggling with this. She looks like she was a chic and lovely woman, just like you. Love her smile.Thinking of you and her family. Take time to deal with this. It’s a lot.
Thank you for being so kind to share my blog post. I had the best time with you girls last week. So wonderful to be out. Of course you picked the coolest things at Madewell! Love all your choice. The jeans are great. Love those slides too.
Lots of hugs and love, Kim
Hi Kim
Thanks pal for your kind thoughts. I am so glad we all had that fun lunch together. It was a nice distraction. I knew that day it was probably the end.
Oh Cindy, this post breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. Three of my grandparents were alcoholics. They all died with the disease, but not technically of it..a contributing factor. You love them, you encourage them, you help them, but in the end it comes down to them wanting sobriety. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and that your opening up to others about this painful subject may help someone try harder with a family member or friend, or encourage them to seek help for themselves💙
Hi Linda
I don’t share personal things often. It is my hope that you are right. Even if it saves on life.
Cindy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. What a terrible loss. Please know that we, your fans, understand your absence during this difficult time.
Your upcoming week sounds like a fun time with your team work with two of the talents out there in blog world.
Take care of yourself this week.
xo,
Karen
Hi Karen
Thank you so much for all your support. I sure hope we can meet one day!
Cindy,
Please accept my sincerest condolences at the loss of your lovely sister. May she be at peace.
Blessings,
Mary L Shaw
Thank you so much Mary.
Oh my gosh Cindy I am so so very sorry for your loss. I spent the weekend with my sisters just recently and the thought of losing one of them would be devastating. We are all so close. I remember you telling me about your sister the last time you were in Atlanta and I could hear the frustration in your voice. Again there are no words to help ease any pain you might be feeling and as trite as it sounds……time is the only healer in a situation like this.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Cindy my heart breaks for you as I’ve felt the same several times over. Alcoholism has run through my father’s side of the family leaving no survivors along the way including him. I received a phone call 2 days before I was getting married 14 years ago that my eldest brother had passed in a hospital in CA. He had been homeless and was in a hospital without ID and insurance. The cause of death was listed as the effects of alcoholism. Then three years ago my other brother committed suicide after reaching out several times to both me and my husband for help. My husband has been sober for more than 30 years and is very active in AA. At times he has been the night manager of a live-in rehab center run by the Capuchin Monastery in Detroit, MI. It doesn’t matter how much experience you have have or who you know not everyone makes it out alive. I still grieve for all of them in spite of the bad things they’ve done over the years I realize the demons they fought. I’ve never been a drinker nor barely a glass of wine, so my husband tells me I’ll never really understand the life of and alcoholic or addict. I suppose he’s right I only know what its like to live with them and it’s heartbreaking. I’m so sorry for you and all of your family. I truly hurt for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Having lost my younger sister, I can say that holding the good memories close will help you heal. Take care.
Cindy, I’m so sorry about your sister! My condolences to the family.
Laurie
Cindy, so sorry to hear about your sister. It was devastating to me when I lost my dear sister. She was only 40. Her husband was very abusive and she was sweet. He caused her alot of physical and mental pain due to his drug addiction and women. I also have an alcoholic brother that put parents in their grave. Sadly you can’t help them unless they are willing. My prayers are with you and her daughters.
Cindy,
What a beautiful tribute to Cathy! She was an amazing lady! My heart breaks for you! Thoughts and prayers are with your family, Cathy’s family and Cheryl and her family.
I am so very sorry to hear about your sister. It’s brutally painful to lose a sibling, no matter the circumstances.
Sending hugs and prayers my friend.
xo Jennifer
Cindy, it is heartbreaking to read this news. Your tribute to Cathy is an enduring testament of your love for her. A loss of this magnitude is so personal and difficult. And each person’s path of grieving is different. You will never be the same, but take heart that you will always carry her with you. Thank you for telling us about her.
Cindy, I sympathize with your loss, I doubt there’s any family anywhere not affected. My middle sister ( beautiful, bright, troubled) died at 60 yrs of age from alcoholism. My thoughts and prayers are with you and her children as you navigate this grief. I hope your family has been blessed to find AlAnon, my family could not have survived without it.
Cindy, such a loss. Cathy was a true friend to our family and will be missed greatly. The memories of my childhood with you, Cathy, all of your kids will be forever in my heart…during all of this fun times in Monticello. Thoughts and prayers to all of you.
My sympathy to you and your family in this time of sorrow and loss. May memories and love shared be of comfort.
Cindy I am so sorry to hear about your sister. You know I’ve experienced my share of grief and all I can say is face it, allow it, give yourself grace, cry when you feel the tears, smile when you remember the sweet memories, be angry when you feel angry, just allow yourself to feel what you feel. It is your own private walk, however difficult it might be, it is yours to walk. I must say your sister’s smile is engaging and it sounds like you will get much comfort in your good memories of her. God bless you sweet friend. I am sending along a good ‘ol hug.
Cindy, I can so understand what you are going through. First, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as you journey through this grief. It is terribly hard and so extremely heartbreaking. One of my four younger sisters, Kathleen, passed away in January 2019 very unexpectedly from a stroke. We were completely shocked, devastated, and filled with so many difficult emotions. Kath left three grown children, five siblings, and a 90 year old father for whom she was the favorite. I wish I could tell you that in “x” number of days, months, etc. you’ll feel something other than what you feel now, but grief just doesn’t work that way. There is no “getting over it,” or returning to “normal.” So, for me, it is continually learning how to navigate life without Kath, and this is the most difficult thing I’ve had to do in my 64 years of life. Please know that you can always reach out to me to just listen. God bless you.
Cindy, my heart is hurting for you. I am so sorry for your loss. Sending praying your way. Oxox
Sending healing thoughts your way. My husband grew up with a father who struggled with alcoholism, and it led to his death when my husband was12 years old. Wishing you peace and happy memories.
Dear Cindy,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your treasured sister Cathy, one thing is evident above everything and that is how much she was loved.
Peace and prayers to you and her family.
Something I read. Before you think you can change someone else, think how hard it is to change something about yourself. I have a close family member that is an alcoholic, it breaks my heart but my choice is either love them them and be their for them or alienate them with demands and be cut out of their life.
I am very sorry to hear about your sister. She sounds like an exceptional woman. Hold on to the many beautiful memories you have of her. They will help you get through this difficult time.
Cindy,
My prayers go out to you, your family and Cathy’s family. Loss is never easy whatsoever. Take all the time you need, your family of followers will be waiting for you!
Hugs
Cindy, I can relate to your frustration of family members struggling with alcoholism. I have three brothers who have the disease. My older brother has deceased, but he had stopped 20+ years before death. My middle brother is in rehab now, he stopped for 18 years, went through a divorce, started drinking again, and hopefully has realized he can’t drink. My youngest brother has wasted his entire life with drugs. I am the only daughter, and I have been blessed to be able to drink a glass of wine, socially. Seeing how it affects the addicts is enough for me. Also, my husband was a functional alcoholic. Please take care of yourself, and know that you and the family, did all you could to help. As someone said, they have to be willing to help themselves. It is true that these people are very talented, and it’s so hard to watch them waste it like that. ♥️
Cindy, I’m sorry to hear your sister died from alcoholism. I know something about that. My first husband developed a cocaine/alcohol and valium addiction and living with him was like being in Hell. Just when I thought about leaving him, he was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. Then there’s my best friend since high school… Last week was the closest I’ve come to stepping out of her life. She’s mean and degrading towards me. Sometimes it hurts. Other times, like last week, I’m sad and feel sorry for her. I don’t see a happy ending, because she will never seek help. Sending you lots of love, Brenda
Cindy, please know that Graham and I both send our deep sympathy over the profound loss of Cathy. She sounded like a woman that accomplished so much in her lifetime and I know you will miss her more than words can say. When we think this year can’t bring more heartache, it just keeps on giving. Please take care of you. Good friends will always be there for you and will give you space when you need it. Hugs to you my friend xo
Cindy, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I know how hard it is to lose your sister. The void in your life is hard to get used to.
I still am grieving after three years, so take your time. You have many beautiful and thoughtful responses here, so I will just say that my thoughts are with you.
Hi Beth
I know that you lost your dear sister as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to send your condolences. We recently were in Zionsville and tried to spot your restaurant.
Sympathies to you and your family. That’s so hard, even if you know it may likely happen. You described her so lovingly and thank you for sharing this vibrant life. May you find comfort and may she rest in peace.
Cindy, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. It’s so hard. I lost my sister 38 years ago when she was only 29 yrs. old. She was my only sibling. She died of diabetes and left a 2 year old daughter. My husband and I have a friend who has battled alcoholism. I do know that it is as much a serious illness as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, but isn’t seen in the same way by many, but it should be. I hope for you and the rest of her loved ones, that each passing day, brings a little more peace and that in time, you will only remember the best parts of her life.
I enjoy your posts very much but today’s was a shock. My sister passed away last week, about the same age as yours, and it’s been terrible for the entire family. Reading your words brought tears to my eyes and I can only say I’m sorry for the loss of our beloved sisters. May they both rest easy now, and may we hold them with great love and caring in our hearts.
Thank you.
Hi Dharma
I am so sorry for your loss as well. We can take comfort in knowing they both are at peace now. Thank you for your kind thoughts
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, Cindy. Your sister was lovely. Although sad, frustrating and often bewildering, I have always been amazed by the achievements of a high functioning alcoholic. I truly believe they are the most difficult to convince to get help. I have encountered several within my career, family and friendships. I lost my grandfather to the disease. He was 62 years old. His demeanor was damaging. His painful demise thankfully enlightened and saved my dad . . . and quite possibly my generation and our children’s, as the awareness of a family history of alcoholism is helpful when social drinking begins.
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your story. By doing this, you will enlighten and quite possibly save or prolong a vulnerable soul.
Hi Lynne
So interesting, isn’t it? I have learned so much from all of the comments. My mother’s parents were both aloholics and she never drank a drop.
I am deeply saddened for your loss. I have learned there is no timetable for grief or sorrow to abate. There are no shortcuts. No easy way around it. The only way is right through the middle of it. Addiction is a monster. I am sorry your sister, your caretaker of your childhood, committed this long, slow, painful for all involved, death. You are the remaining member of your family of origin. As I said before, paraphrasing Alice Walker, ‘take what you can use and let the rest rot’. Thinking of you.
Thanks Patricia Alice Waters was not only a great chef but a wise woman as well.
I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your sister. This past February I flew to NY to see if I could help my 30yr old niece who was in the hospital. She was very thin and I thought she was anorexic, but upon seeing her, discovered that she was an alcoholic. She passed away on March 11th. Her father, my younger brother is dying from cancer now and I wonder how much more my sister-in-law and the rest of us can take. 2020 has been a rough year for us.
Hi Mary Ann
I am so happy your son got help. My sister could never bring herself to admitting it. I think you have a point about the over-achieving personalities. It is hard for them to admit failure at anything. Hugs to your son.
First and foremost I have learned that only the alcoholic is responsible for quitting – you, me, no one can “help” them stop. My son is “3 years old” sober with the help of an AA group and sponsor. He has taught me a lot about myself and things in which I have and I am improving. We lost my husband’s 54 year old brother due to alcoholism after years of family, friend, and many rehab stints. In the end he’d had a few months of sobriety and everyone was hopeful and excited that he’d finally beat “the old devil” (my father-in-law’s word for his own drinking “problem”). Unfortunately he drank one last time fell in his home alone and died from a head injury. He too had much promise as an athlete. He was a star football player in high school and a well known college. He was on a professional team for one season but the drink got him fired. My son is talented too. He went to a performing arts high school, sang with the high school opera group of a world renown opera house, got a scholarship to one of the best music universities in the world. Then he struggled for years with drinking and finally, after several bad experiences that almost ruined his life as he knows it, got help. Fro him it is working. But after reading about your sister and having my own experiences it seems like often the talented, creative, overachievers are the ones tormented with “the old devil”. May you find peace in the life she led and her influence on you. She did indeed leave a legacy.
Hi Mary Ann
I am so happy your son got help. My sister could never bring herself to admitting it. I think you have a point about the over-achieving personalities. It is hard for them to admit failure at anything. Hugs to your son.
Oh dearest Cindy, how heartbreaking.I can’t even imagine the years of struggling with this disease. I have two older sisters. I can’t imagine losing them also. So my heart goes out to you. Please take the time to grieve. We will always be there for you.
Thanks pal, it has been a bit rough.
Beautiful tribute to Cathy! Hugs to you and your family.
Thanks friend. It means a lot.
So sorry for your loss Cindy. BIG HUG!
So happy you were able to celebrate Kim’s Birthday, with Mary Ann and Elizabeth.
Warm thoughts from Umbria…
Hi Robin
That certainly was a nice distraction. I had a feeling that day the end was near.
Hi Cindy. Wishing you comfort and love as you grieve. My brother is an alchoholic. He lives only 20 minutes from me. I rarely see or hear from him and he usually does not reply to my calls. I wish that I could help him. I miss him and he is still right here. I always felt if I could afford to help him financially that could save him. I thought becoming a father to two beautifull children might turn things around. But now I understand from reading about your beautifull sister and from others comments that alchoholism is more complex than that.
Hi Kathryn
It certainly is. My sister had it all. This should have been the prime of her life.
oh dearest,
such a loss, you spoke of her often. the loss of a sibling cannot be imagined. my deepest condolences Cindy
Debra
Hi Pal
Thank you so much. Sadly there was not much we could do or say.
Thinking of you and yours Cindy and sending love and support. We have alcoholism in our family too and the chaos is alway there on the periphery so you feel like you are always alert and watching. Thankfully the young ones have taken the message seriously and are careful. Be very good to yourself right now, lots of rest.
Hi Francesca
Thank you so much for your words of support. I appreciate it.
Your story of sadness and grief due to alcoholism is part of my story too. I lost my sister when she was 40. I was devastated. I kept thinking she’d get up one morning and say Wow, you were right! But heartbreakingly, addiction is a powerful disease. Addiction to alcohol is every bit as real as addiction to narcotics. I have learned, although it’s often hard to really embrace, that ‘we’ can’t save them – it’s the work they must do. Of course we all support that work, but don’t we all know we’d save our loved ones from so much is we could. Peace, and may the beautiful memories you carry be the ones that sustain you.
Hi Martha
That is what I want my nieces to know. We couldn’t save her. We did our best and that is all we could do. Thank you for the reminder.
I have been there with my daughter’s dad. We tried so many times and hoped he could recover.
She is at peace now. Let the good memories sustain you.🙏
Hi Char
That is the comfort we all have is knowing she is at peace. Thank you for your sweet thoughts.
Cindy, I have you and your family in my prayers. Losing a loved one is incredibly painful and difficult and I believe especially so when it swirls around an addiction problem. We recently lost a friend to alcoholism and drug addition. He had such a bright future and was so charismatic, but even his good attributes couldn’t tame the demon that took over so many years ago.
Take care of yourself and your family; the blog can wait. We’ll still be here when you’re ready.
Thank you Deb for your kind thoughts. I am so sorry for your friend as well. It is a cruel disease.
Cindy — So very, very sorry to hear about your sister. She sounds like a remarkable woman who just could not conquer that terrible disease. I hope you are comforted by those warm memories you shared snd others. Take good care of yourself.
I loved the Milieu showhouse for the same reason — that design cohesion so rare in these projects. And who would ever question Pam Pierce’s style. Always love your shopping finds and planning on making that soup soon. (We are quickly cooling down here in Chicago, so soup weather is here.)
Hi Janet
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Don’t you wish more show houses were like the Milieu? I know it was such a struggle for them to pull it off during a pandemic. I love all that Pam Pierce does. Such a talent.
Dear Cindy, my heart ached as I read your post regarding the death of your precious sister. We lost a adult Son to this horrible disease about 10 years ago. We tried so many times to help him but in the end he was unable to save himself. Please give yourself all the time you need to grieve. Your life has changed and you need time to process it all. I will think of you often and offer up my prayers for comfort and compassion.
Hi Ethel
I certainly can understand your pain. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Deepest sympathy on the loss of your sister. I do not have experience with alcoholism, but I do know about grief as I lost a son in an accident 4 years ago. Do what you can, when you can, and be easy on yourself. Time just takes time.
Oh my Jeanine we are not supposed to outlive our children. My heart goes out to you. You are so kind to send your best.
Cindy – I am so sorry for your loss of your sister. Sending you a big hug o❤o
Hi Holly
thank you so much for the sweet thoughts.
I too am so very sorry about the loss of your sister. Sending heartfelt prayers your way.
Thank you so much Sue. I sure appreciate it.
Dear Cindy, I am so sorry to hear of your sister’s death. I know how difficult it was for you to see how her alcoholism affected her and everyone around her. Even though I met her a couple times, I certainly didn’t know her. You gave a beautiful description of who she was and I know she will be missed. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn
We sure miss you guys. I will send you an email. Thanks for the sweet words.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sister. May God be with you during this difficult time.
Thank you so much Susie. I so appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers.
I SEE YOUR SMILE IN HER SMILE!
SO SORRY……………I KNOW YOU TRIED NUMEROUS TIMES TO HELP HER.
DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO!THE BLOG CAN WAIT.
XX
Interesting that you would say that Eliz others see things that we don’t. She looked like one side of the family and I another. She will be missed by many.
Dear Cindy,
May you be held in Presence and Love as you traverse your mountain of grief. May your beautiful sister memories rise above the heartbreak of Cathy’s disease. Please find many ways to show compassion to your amazing self.
With love from Camano Island,
Diney
Hi Diney
We are all trying to remember her in her glory. She was amazing.
What a lovely tribute to you sister, Cindy. I know she loved you. This was a great post inspite of your grief. Thank you. I bought a pair of jeans with some flair but I will have to keep wearing my skinny jeans until they wear out! I thought Kim’s soup looked good too.
Sending you a big hug!!
Thanks Pal. Jeans are such a pain to shop for aren’t they?
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear sister. It is heartbreaking and frustrating not to be able to “save” someone you love so much. After reading about Cathy, I immediately thought of my wonderful Aunt Mary. The similarities between their achievements and lives was striking to me. I always wondered if that over-achieving personality was a factor in my aunt’s alcoholism…to the outside world my Aunt Mary seemed to be the gal that had it all. I have seen this type of alcoholism in both my maternal and paternal families. The odd part to me is that on both sides of my family, the issues with alcohol were either 1) none at all or 2) totally uncontrolled…there was/is no in between. Is it genetic? Is it learned? What is it that drives that urge? I can’t even imagine the struggles Cathy and Mary lived with on a daily basis. I have only had small tastes of it with bad food choices. The common sense answer is “just stop”. I know that…I can do it for a while…and well…you know. Then I think of my aunt and know “just stop” is not doable.
I hope Cathy’s husband and girls will lean on family, friends, and professionals for help if they need it. Prayers for all who love Cathy.
Hi Sheila
So interesting about your Aunt Mary. I have often wondered if the same as far as personality goes. Cathy had it all but she could never face her demons and ask for help. As if asking for help would be a sign of weakness rather than strength. Thank you for your kind thoughts
Cindy, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. My older brother is a recovering alcoholic, now 14 years sober. I am very proud of him, but it took many, many years and a terrifying family incident for him to realize that something had to change if he wanted to survive. Losing a sibling is never easy, but there are few things more heartbreaking than watching someone you love self-destruct. 💔
Hi Sarah
You are absolutely positively right. We kept thinking each time it would be her rock bottom but unfortunately this was it.