Age Appropriate for Mature Women is Highly Inappropriate

ByCindy Hattersley Hours Posted on Hours Updated on
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I am now a 70-year-old woman and proud to be “on this side of the dirt,” as my dad would say. “Age-appropriate” is a term that has been tossed around for years by the fashion police when it comes to those of us over 60 and beyond. It’s a sneaky way for the fashion industry and social media to place limitations on how we dress, act, or express ourselves. But here’s the thing: style, confidence, and self-expression have no expiration date. Let’s embrace our own style by wearing what makes us feel beautiful and engaging in whatever activities give us pleasure. We are a new generation of mature women who are not concerned with what society deems appropriate or inappropriate.  “Age Appropriate” for Mature Women is Highly Inappropriate. I know from experience that we (this community) want to age vibrantly, confidently, and fashionably.

My inner child is still ageless

I Really Loathe the Term Age Appropriate

The term “age-appropriate” rarely implies a positive tone—unless you’re using it to guide young children or young adults behavior. 

Age-appropriate dressing

When referring to mature women, age-appropriate dressing is a type of fashion policing. Sadly, this term is most often used by influencers and content creators our own age on twitter, instagram, tik tok, and elsewhere. Many feel we should stick to appropriate hemlines in neutral colors in a classic style. Age-appropriate becomes a limiting label, implying we should dress or act in a way that society deems appropriate. Dressing in ripped or skinny jeans, short skirts, bright colors, sleeveless tops, combat boots, shorts, a tank top, or short sleeves (the list goes on and on) isn’t age-appropriate. According to the article, What Not to Wear if You Are Over 50,  we should also not be wearing fleece. It is not my personal choice to wear short skirts, shorts, or short sleeves, but let’s not be judgmental of women our age who can and do! Just because retailers and fashion magazines insist on showing clothes on tall, thin 20-year-old models, it doesn’t mean those same clothes won’t look as chic on women our age.

Iris Apel photographed for Vogue by Luis Monteiro

photo by Luis Monteiro

A company called Collect Plus in the UK did a survey in 2016 of 2000 people (in this article, There’s an Age When We Should Stop Wearing Denim Jeans) to find out at what age they felt women should no longer be wearing jeans. The answer was 53. Really? Shop with confidence and focus on a good fit (that suits your body type), the best quality (you can afford), and personality over labels. Style icons like the late Iris Apel wouldn’t be caught dead in a standard casual outfit in neutral colors. It takes boldness and confidence to dress with her fearless creativity. The joy of expressing yourself authentically can be one of the simplest forms of personal expression. Even if you aren’t as bold as Iris, don’t be afraid to mix classic and inexpensive trendy pieces to keep your wardrobe fresh and exciting. I love this interview in Vogue, Iris Apfel Has A Century’s Worth of Advice on How To Define Your Own Style.

Age Appropriate Exercise

Coining the term age-appropriate exercise for us mature women is ridiculous. It can discourage us from pursuing a more demanding exercise regime and reinforces unnecessary limits on our potential at any age. I just started Pilates at 70. Joan MacDonald of Train with Joan, started weightlifting at 70.

Joan MdDonald Fitness Influencer

photo by Caleb and Gladys

The Lifting Enthusiast Flexing her Age-Women’s Health

Age Appropriate Hobbies 

I looked up hobbies for mature women, and some of them were comical.  Whether it’s hiking, painting, dancing, gardening, learning a new language, or skydiving, the best hobbies for women over 60 are the ones that bring us joy and a sense of adventure and achievement.

Henry Ford quote on learning

Age Appropriate Hair

Gray hair can make one look old. Why is it salt and pepper-haired men are distinguished while women are criticized for having gray hair. Younger women can wear long hair, but older women should never.

Toss the labels

Have a little tough love. It’s time to ditch the catchprases “age-appropriate,”  “age appropriateness,” “old lady”,”older woman or women,” and “old age” and focus on important things. Let’s not continue to kick that can down the road. Let’s embrace the freedom to live, dress, and pursue passions in ways that reflect our individuality and confidence, regardless of our age.

You might enjoy these posts:

Here’s How you can Own your Own Style After 50 with Confidence

Aging Well: Embracing Changes for Personal Growth

Isn’t it Time to Ditch the Term Anti Aging and Age Awesomly

Die young and as late as possible,” anthropologist Ashley Montagu

Let’s ditch the outdated concept of “age-appropriate” behind and instead celebrate the individuality, creativity, and confidence that come with age. Dressing, living, and expressing ourselves authentically should have nothing to do with societal rules and everything to do with what makes us feel empowered. Whether it’s our clothing choices of bold pattern or statement jewelry, or our activities that defy stereotypes, life is too short to live by someone else’s standards. Let’s own our own style, live unapologetically, and inspire others to do the same! Is there any particular verbage that you find irritating? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.

age confidently, vibrantly, fashionably

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88 Comments

  1. I agree confidence and attitude have everything to do with living well at any age. We just need to recognize that while there are some limitations, they should not limit us unduly. I, for example, no longer climb trees, but I will climb over a stone wall (wearing jeans, of course). I remember when my grandmother was in her late 70s, and my father called her ‘old lady’ at a family dinner. She got up, hiked up her skirt, and holding the sideboard, and kicked her leg way up — saying “old lady, old lady” in a dismissive voice. We all laughed, and my dad totally backed down.

  2. I have always loved fashion! I love a collected, bohemian look and since I am a lifelong Texan native, I have a large collection of Cowgirl Boots! I am 70 but have never felt I had to dress “appropriately”. I wear what makes me happy and of course it has to be comfortable! No more three-inch heels or wired push up bras for this gal!
    My favorite story happened upon my retirement. I worked twenty-five years for a government agency and at my retirement many of my coworkers sent farewell notes. One of my favorites said, “I will miss seeing what you wear each day.” It was from a 31-year-old!
    I’ll revise a lyric from the great Tina Turner. “What’s Age Got to Do with It?”

    1. Hi Becky

      I LOVE that!! I intented to buy a pair of cowboy boots this year but didn’t.. maybe next!! I think Ariat since they are cushioned and come in a wide width will be best for me!

  3. Cindy, I think for too long women have been put into a box of how they are supposed to look, weigh, age, act and countless other things.
    Social media in my opinion has not done much to stop or help this. Other may think differently. But over the last 20 years people are all starting to look the same, dress the same, wear their hair the same. Where is the individuality? That is where age and wisdom come. Get off the lemming train and live life, be whatever you want, wear whatever you want, etc.
    Thanks for sharing and inspiring!

    1. Hi Elizabeth

      I couldn’t agree more. Who wants to look like everyone else. Anytime I read this is the it bag every girl needs. I cringe. We have the ability to be creative and share our individuality. Why do we want to carry whatever the “it girls” do?

  4. I have always loved fashion! I love a collected, bohemian look and since I am a lifelong Texan native, I have a large collection of Cowgirl Boots! I am 70 but have never felt I had to dress “appropriately”. I wear what makes me happy and of course it has to be comfortable! No more three-inch heels or wired push up bras for this gal!
    My favorite story is one that happened upon my retirement. I worked twenty-five years for a government agency and at my retirement many of my coworkers sent farewell notes. One of my favorites said “I will miss seeing what you wear each day.” It was from a 31 year old!
    I’ll revise a lyric from the great Tina Turner. “What’s Age Got To Do With It?”

  5. Fantastic post, Cindy!
    I just celebrated my 74th birthday, and l always dress for myself, for my body type, and always for the occasion. Age-appropriate is not a label that I recognize.
    Thanks for reminding us to not slip into others’ expectations of our choices and lives.

    Rosemary

  6. Love this post and the positive comments! What an inspiring community! I am now 70, and wear what is comfortable. I really don’t pay attention to what is “new” in the fashion world. I’ve always been drawn to the classics. Give me a Ralph Lauren outfit, any day! Generally like to wear solids vs. prints. It’s so funny, my sister is 72, and we are so opposite in our choices! She loves bold colors and prints. We wear what we enjoy (and hopefully looks good on us lol!)

  7. Here, here, Cindy! Fab post! I actually started belly dancing at around 50 and my teacher was 65! We bared our bellies and danced our hearts out! There is no limit to what you can enjoy or wear or do as you age. Having a young heart keeps you young!
    Thank you for all of your great posts. I found you by chance when I searched the web to find out if linen could be worn in colder weather. Your website popped up, I saw your posts on wearing linen and I now wear linen whenever I want to! lol!
    I love all of the beautiful pics of lovely, gracefully aging women who wear their style with confidence. No one should be shamed into conforming to what society says about older women. We are confident, we are beautiful, and we have lots of life left in us.
    Thank you for your inspiration!

    1. Nancy I couldn’t agree more and you said it so well. Belly dancing at 65 I am impressed! And yes to linen, or any natural fabric at any time of the year…win …win

  8. Love this post. I do not adhere to being age appropriate for anything. Enjoy every age you are given
    the grace and opportunity to live. Make your life count in the fashion you choose and in your life
    choices. Be the best person you are meant to be.

  9. Best post ever! As a 75-year-old woman I couldn’t agree more with everything you wrote. My good friend and I walk four miles every day first thing in the morning. We’ve met people on our daily walk, much younger, who seem to enjoy speaking to us on diverse topics. I believe if you are engaging and happy with yourself, most could care less about your age.
    Thanks for this uplifting reminder of how I want to be as I head to the “final exit”. Haha.
    Karen B.

  10. I enjoy your ideas and agree with this article about doing away with the term “age appropriate.” I’ll have to say, though, that it kind of bugs me that all of your fashion posts are for “over 50.” That seems like another way of saying “age appropriate.” I think your styles are very versatile and can be worn by women of ALL ages.

    1. Hi Mary

      Very interesting comment. I was just chatting with another blogger/influencer who I have great respect for and she says she never puts ages in her titles anymore. The only issue with that is women our age that are searching for fashion are looking for a demographic. I have experimented with over 60 because I am way beyond that…and considered 70…but I don’t want to be limiting. So I understand your point.

      1. I really appreciate your response. I understand that it’s tricky finding the best way to reach your target audience. You’re doing a great job!

  11. Yes! Thank you for the wise words, and reminding us how good life is at any age. Challenges may come but we are here to be challenged. And I am enjoying my wrinkles, they remind me of my sweet mother. My hands that look “old” made meals, cleaned house, worked in an office, bathed our baby, repaired clothing…. They work with their wrinkles and spots and arthritis. Wisdom comes with age, as the quote says, and we are wise enough not to listen to those who feel they know better than we what we should look like!

  12. LOVE your dad’s comment: ‘this side of the dirt!’ Must file in the memory bank.
    As to age-appropriate, my mum died at nearly 90 and was wearing jeans till the end – swish-o, elegant, very Ralph Lauren. I’m 73 and it’s my most common garment, oh my gosh, with leggings for dog-walking. What would those judgemental pundits say!
    I’ve been doing classical ballet for nearly 10 years – tights, leotards and floating calf length chiffon skirts. We twirl, point and stretch within the limits of our ageing bodies, and it gives me an extra inch or more in height as I try to walk like a prima ballerina.
    Whilst I don’t want to dress like Iris Apfel, I loved her unique, unequivocal style. I loved her philosophies. An icon.
    I just want to look nice, be comfortable and if any appropriateness is required, let it be for what I might be doing at the time – swimming, gardening, walking, ballet, cooking… Living, when one thinks about it.

  13. Love your post and love the comments! This is definitely my tribe. Thanks for bringing us all together!

    1. Hi Barbara

      Aren’t they a fun group? Love them all! They are fearless, funny, and full of it!

  14. I totally agree! I grew up as the youngest of 5 children and my mom was always concerned about how we looked in public. She stressed herself out. Well… I was determined that no one would tell me how I should look in public. I’ve always worn what looked good to me and always got compliments. Still do today. I turned grey in my 20’s and I didn’t care what people thought as in I needed to color my hair.
    I never did! I’m 68 and plan to continue be who I want to look in fashion world…

  15. I think age-appropriate should only apply to toddlers’ and preschooler’s toys. That’s it! So many people want to pigeonhole women into archaic roles that have no relevance to their spirit, vitality, and passion.
    It deeply disturbs me that the thought exists that birthdays for women are a penalty and not a celebration,
    Love this, Cindy

  17. My 71st birthday is just a few days away. Thank you for what I’ll consider an early birthday greeting. I couldn’t agree more with your message. It will keep me inspired for years to come. Cindy, you nailed it!

    1. Hi Lois

      Happy upcoming 71st! As you know we are very close in age! So glad you enjoyed the post.

  18. You have inspired me to grow my bangs out. It is not an easy task, but I plan to do this.
    My personal style is kind of “out there” but it fits my personality. I don’t really care what people think. I must admit you always look stunning and ” put together.”. I enjoy your blogs. Keep up the great work. BTW…I will be turning 70 in February. I am so glad to be alive and healthy. We grew up and are aging during the best times.

    1. Hi Claudia

      Congrats on your upcoming birthday! I am so glad to be alive and healthy as well. We have much to be thankful for!

  19. This is one of your best articles, you really hit the mark when discussing “what older women should or shouldn’t wear”.
    I’m 75 , shoulder length blond curly hair, wearing size 6 clothes. I am a fashion consultant to friends and family alike, many, my daughters age (50) and younger. Confidence is the ultimate beauty statement!
    Thank you so much for encouraging us seniors to enjoy the benefits that come with age.

  20. Love this post Cindy! I’ll be 78 😳 in a few days and plan on wearing my jeans and leggings forever!❤️

    1. Hi Patty

      So glad to hear from you! Tell all your buddies hi! Hooray for jeans and leggings!!

  21. Oh this chat makes my day! Thanks Cindy! I just turned 60 and my hair is to my bottom line and I’m loving my new found jeans inspired by you! The only thing I’m changing in my wardrobe is the fabric. I’m choosing fabrics and solid quality to last for years vs polyester..you turned me on to Quince and I thank you!!!

  23. I love this article Cindy! I also remember back in middle school only having pant days here in California. Seems crazy today but I will never be giving up my jeans at 67 years old! You continue to inspire me every day and definitely coordinate a few cute outfits along the way thank you!

    1. Hi Julie

      Isn’t it hard to believe there were dress codes? Fortunately, we don’t have to follow any now, unless we are attending a wedding!

  24. What nobody has commented on is how we all read those ‘What not to wear’ posts/articles/ads’? Why are we suckered into reading them? I wish I was confident enough to just ignore them completely!

    1. Hi Maryanne

      I read them because they humor me. Sometimes those who are advising us on what is and isn’t appropriate look a little “inappropriate” themselves!!

  25. Hi Cindy,
    I really enjoyed this post. I agree with you on everything you said. It’s unfortunate that some woman that may lack self confidence in dressing that they read this crap from the fashion police and buy into it. I feel whatever brings you comfort, smiles and confidence is what you should wear. The fashion world can be cruel and start writing you off at 70 and above. I’m 73 years young and to be young at heart is half the battle.
    I look forward to reading these posts that you shared.
    You are an excellent roll model to be yourself and dress who you are.
    You are rock and are a blessing to us all.
    Thank you for just being YOU.

    1. Hi Katherine

      You ladies keep me on my toes because you rock!! I just started pilates at 70 and have no idea what I am doing but I love it!!

  26. Soon to be 76 & I will never give up wearing jeans! Especially because my favorite thing to do is hang out at the barn & that requires mucking out stalls. My Dad always said the same thing-“ I am thankful every morning when I wake up on the right side of the dirt”
    He lived to be 90.

  27. Love this post, so much great inspiration to take away from you and from those who have commented. I’m still finding my way on how I want to dress now (66 and retired), but never giving up jeans! Love them with scarves, fashionable tees, sweaters etc. I am of the opinion that footwear makes a difference in not feeling seeming old. Comfortable is a must, but fuddy-duddy doesn’t have to be..

  28. Cindy I appreciate this post! I am 82 and a size 8 and love jeans..often mistaken for 60s in age. Due to total knee surgeries I had to give up yoga and Pilates which was a wonderful way to exercise…knees ruined by years of running in the military. I have a capsule wardrobe which saves a lot of questions about what to wear and have been a J Crew customer of years now. Your suggestions are spot on! I also do not agree with short, ‘sensible’ haircuts for older women that end up with scalp showing and wrinkles on the back of the neck. For some reason department stores are still showing flowery cardigans and skirts for older women in very cheap fabrics…trying to still put us in a certain box. I’m not giving up yet. Thanks. Donnie. Loved Iris!

    1. Hi Donnie

      I am not a huge fan of flowery prints but I know many that can pull them off. I have had two hip replacements and am able to do Pilates. I am finding out my mobility in that area is probably not what it once was but onward and upward! I love J Crew too. I have tried to get them to work with me, but apparently they think I and my readers are too old for their line. They are dead wrong…

      1. What! Too old for their line? Most of this 64 yo closet is from them and they love me enough to send me unsolicited holiday gifts. Shameful. Did they actually tell you this? Let me go throw on their coat to top of their/my shirt, pants and boots and walk off this outrage. (Do love your posts!)

        1. Hi Vicki

          I don’t think they realize how many of us support them. We don’t dress or feel like grannyies of old! I love being a granny…you get my drift, I am sure.

    2. Couldn’t agree more…..at a tall slim 75yrs I still wear jeans with heals and a blazer .Always get favourable Comments. You are only as old as your attitude .
      Go girls.

  29. I completely agree. And I’d love to see this philosophy extend to hair color, makeup, skin care, etc. I am really sick of seeing and hearing about anti-aging cosmetics, laser treatments, skin treatments, etc. It is just the flipside of the same coin.

    1. Hi Bette

      I think anti-aging is slowly disappearing thankfully. I don’t agree about laser treatments. I have had two. I spent way too many years baking in the sun. Lasers can treat precancerous lesions and reverse sun damage. They can also help reduce the risk of developing basal cell and squamos cell carcinomas.

  31. I am 73 and was recently at a college tennis match. I chose to wear my black sequined bomber jacket with my Kut jeams. Standing beside me was a 7-year-old girl wearing more-or-less the same outfit–sequined jacket and jeans! I laughed with her mom and told her that style is style at any age, 73 or 7!!
    Thanks for this article, Cindy! I love your perspectives on life and all of your styling ideas. Keep up the great work for all of us who can’t wait to read your postings!!

  32. With you 100%! I love your tag line of “age confidently, age vibrantly, age fashionably”. I think of those 3, the most important is to be confident.

  34. My mother asked me once when I was going to give up wearing jeans. I told her never. I’ll be 75 this year and still proudly wear blue jeans. BTW, my first pair, purchased when I was in high school, cost $4.95!

    1. Hi Nancy

      OMG I can’t remember what I paid for my first pair of jeans. I do remember we could not wear jeans to school until I was a senior in high school! You are the age of my sister. She would have been 75 a couple days ago.

  35. I sit here proudly in my cozy fleece drinking my coffee and am a 55 year old woman. I think I may wear a jean skirt today. 🙂 I couldn’t agree with you more! On this same topic I would highly recommend the book How To Be Old- Lessons from Living Boldly as the Accidental Icon by Lyn Slater. She is fabulous and very wise.

    1. Hi Laura

      I have not read Lyn Slaters book. I must order it!! Thanks for the recommendation.

  36. Truth to all your statements! Over 50, then 60, then 70 and 80+ for me offers both unique opportunities and be safe advice in dressing. Body shifts dictate longer skirts, shorter jackets and alas gray, white or silver hair fall in there too. I’m inspired to rethink and redo some items. My goal is to repurpose existing items and to not buy new

    1. Hi Lee

      I completely agree with all of your comments! Use what you have in new ways in your home and on your body! Be creative!

  38. I like the comment about not being judgmental, Cindy. Some women over 60 look fabulous in shorts (not me), but I do like a dress to the knee…especially in Florida in the summer. It’s really more about dressing in what makes you feel good. Nice post!

    1. Hi Mary Ann

      Yes you are the perfect example of someone who can still wear knee length dresses and you can rock a maxi in spite of your height!

  39. Well said, Cindy! I’m a few days away from 74 and I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s wonderful to be able to express ourselves anyway we chose and you’ve inspired me to think outside of the box . You always look fabulous!

  40. I never consider age; I wear whatever, whenever, anywhere I want. Sometimes I am at the grocery store in sequins and other times in Lululemon. I am 71. I don’t have as many events since retiring but I have the clothes from my previous life; I retired at 70, and I am wearing them other ways.

  41. The Henry Ford quote is one of my favorites! May we all “learn something new” each and every day. How wonderful to be able to “stay young.” This was all a fantastic read. Thank you, Cindy.

  42. Intriguing post. The only labels I heed are those found on food packaging, the rest are nonsense imposed by others.

  43. Good morning ladies, my late grandmother (fyi, I’m 73) who was a very stylish lady, always wore a hat & gloves when going downtown (Philadelphia), would say to me, never be a slave to a trend. Wear what you like, when receiving an unsolicited complement, say thank you and move on. In other words, I totally agree with you regarding “age appropriate”. Great article today🥰

  45. I completely agree with everything you have said here. Who the heck are “they” to tell us what to do/wear/be? Be yourself, in all your glory!

    1. Hi Kathryn

      That term just irritates me whenever I hear the fashion police use it…

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