A Silver Haired Renaissance Woman you Will Love

Today I am once again joining my friend Brenda Coffee, from 1010 Park Place, for our monthly Ageless Style Series. Today, I am so happy to be featuring my stylish cyber friend Gray, A Silver Haired Renaissance Woman you Will Love.

A SILVER HAIRED RENAISSANCE WOMAN YOU WILL LOVE

Gray is a new blogger. I think you might enjoy her fabulous blog, The State of Gray .  Although Gray and I have yet to meet, I feel like we are sisters from another mama.  We often buy the same clothes, we are interested in many of the same things, and she has a gorgeous head of beautiful silver hair. Gray is much more than that. She has suffered an enormous loss, but has somehow remained positive about life, and is determined to help others. She is one in a million. She is one of my heros in the blogging world. I hope you enjoy and respect her as much as I.

TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND

I was born and raised in Richmond, Virginia and am still here. I went to college in Virginia and met my husband there. He is from Long Island – we settled here and have never left. My family is still here as well. 

My background is in fashion, and buying and merchandising – I was a buyer for a mid-Atlantic women’s clothing chain called La Vogue and bought everything from better sportswear to the preppy department. 

After I had my son, I had a variety of jobs working from home, one of which was selling the Etcetera line of clothing with a friend. After that, I bought a friend’s share in a decorating business and we added a retail component. I co-owned that with my partners for 10 years. It was called Posh, and we sold everything from artwork, upholstery and case goods, to baby gifts and jewelry. We had a baby department with a giant nest in the back corner of the store! The decorating office was on the balcony overlooking the sales floor. It was very cool and we worked our little buns off! 

TELL US WHY YOU DECIDED TO START A BLOG

I’ve had this idea in my head since my mid 50’s, when the store was winding down. I wanted to write a lifestyle blog, including fashion/beauty/decor/gardening and flowers/etc.

I was no longer going to be a buyer for any business and I love looking for and finding great things for people. I loved going to market and I loved the search. Could do this in a blog! I also love to write – I’ve always been good at it.

I was waylaid for several years, after the deaths of my brother and son. I finally got myself together enough to start designing it two years ago. And there is now a grief component, because I feel like that’s an ignored subject and it shouldn’t be! At our age, it’s a part of life and people should understand it better. I want to be relatable to other women and this is just part of a multifaceted life. 

I think writing a blog for women over 55 is in my “Zone Of Genius”, that I will be talking about soon on the blog.

TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT WHAT YOU ENJOY WRITING ABOUT

Anything and everything! I started the blog with lots of topics, I wanted it to read like a magazine. I thought I would narrow it down after a year or two, but positive reaction has been completely across the board. I like to write about cool finds and home and garden projects, but also about thoughtful topics that are age related, like downsizing, friendship or grief. My most popular posts include all of those things. I also like to tell it like it is. I don’t sugarcoat anything.

You suffered a terrible loss and have graciously shared your journey with grief on your blog. What I so admire about you is your positive attitude in spite of your loss.  Can you share a bit of wisdom with others who have experienced something similar?

I would say to find a good grief therapist. Mine is a godsend that has probably saved me. I still see her 10 years later. Also, I read many books dedicated to my particular situation. Don’t shy away from trying to understand what you are feeling about it or why you are dealing with it the way you are. 

Also, positivity is a great thing, but don’t fall for “toxic positivity” which is a blindfolded mindset that says you must be positive and grateful at all times, no matter how sad or angry you are. You must start every sentence with “at least…” 

Be gentle with yourself – you are allowed to have a hard time. Don’t let people shame you for how you grieve. These things can’t be fixed – they must be carried with you.

HOW AND WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A SILVER HAIRED RENAISSANCE WOMAN?

I got my first gray hairs at the ripe old age of 30. I started coloring it at the age of 31 and colored it, going for my original dark brown, until my early 50’s. It got more faded out looking and less believable, the older I got. And the bright silvery white stripe at my part showed up within 2 weeks.I lightened the overall color and started highlighting it then and at about 56-57 I started with more blond highlights, heavier around my face. Then slowly we went from blonde to platinum. I still get some platinum highlights in it, to brighten the darker, dingy bits. I will probably completely stop that in the next few years.

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE COLOR? HAS GOING SILVER CHANGED THAT AT ALL?

I do! I have always liked greens and blues. I would say for most of my life, my favorite color was green, and I had a turquoise period. Now I love aqua (as in the State of Gray logo!) and I do think it has something to do with my hair and eyes!

More Tips from A Silver Haired Renaissance Woman you Will Love

HAS YOUR SILVER HAIR CHANGED THE COMPOSITION OF YOUR WARDROBE AT ALL?

With colors, yes, somewhat. I don’t wear browns anymore and certain shades of green. 

I have always worn neutrals, bright colors and cooler colors – and those are typically what you wear with silver/white/gray hair. I never had my colors done – that’s just what I liked. I started adding some red and brown when my dark brown hair was lightening and warming 

with highlights. Now I am adding silver jewelry. 

You look so fabulous in red , I’m trying to add some to my wardrobe – you really can’t beat silver/white hair with red!

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE?

I wrote this down once, in an exercise describing my decorating style. And you have talked about how, many times people dress their home the way they dress themselves. So I would describe it thus…”nothing incredibly typical…classic, with whimsy and color and pattern, and items that sing a little song…the best most interesting version of me.”

DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE PIECE THAT DEFINES YOUR STYLE?

Hmmm. Not really. I’m sort of all over the board. I have boho dresses, but I like a blazer with jeans as well. I guess I dress for the occasion coupled with my mood. I will say that I am wearing more and more dresses – it’s so much easier! Maybe I’m getting lazy…

What Inspires your signature style? 

I like to see what’s out there and think “What’s my version of that? How can I take that and make it mine?” 

DO YOU HAVE AN ACCESSORY THAT YOU CAN’T DO WITHOUT?

I love jewelry and fun shoes. Typically big earrings- small ones would get lost in all my hair. And typically flats or boots – I have a rule on heels – nothing higher than 3”. And I love my charm bracelet – I don’t wear it as often as I should! Oh – and I love hats and scarves – lots of turkish towels as wraps. 

I have to watch it, because I like to wear a lot of pattern and sometimes it can all be too much! I try to follow the advice of Coco Chanel – before I go out, I look in the mirror and take one thing off! 

WHAT ARE YOUR STYLE STRENGTHS?

I guess I know what I can get away with and what looks best on me. I have become short-waisted in the last few years, so I have to watch necklines and waists that are too long. And my legs aren’t great, so I have to watch what I wear on my lower half!

DO YOU HAVE A STYLE ICON?

Not really. I guess you could say I love to follow the Princess of Wales, and I was a big fan of her late mother in law, back in the day. 

DO YOU HAVE REPEAT OFFENDERS IN YOUR CLOSET? IF WO WHAT ARE THEY?

You mean stuff I wear over and over, right?

Absolutely. Lots of them. Currently they are Athleta polartec leggings, M Gemi suede/shearling sneakers, and a white quilted Mango coat. Obviously this changes with each season. I love my navy blazer, my jean jacket and my black moto jacket. I love the J. Crew cocoon coats – I have two – I would love one in every color!

DO YOU HAVE ANY STYLE RULES THAT YOU LIVE BY OR DO YOU CONSIDER RULES SILLY?

Not really – just what I like and don’t like on me. I try not to wear anything that is too contrived or trying too hard. Some rules make sense to me and some don’t!

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ONLINE GO-TO SOURCES?

I do because most of the really great boutiques in our area are gone. 

I have great success with Anthropologie and J Crew. I also love Nordstrom, Madewell, Banana Republic, Athleta and Gap, Tuckernuck, Emerson Fry, Boden, Garnet Hill, Ann Taylor, Mango, Cos, Sundance, Modern Citizen and Alex Mill. For special things, I love to shop Farm Rio and Oliphant.  

DO YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR DESIGNER THAT YOU ARE DRAWN TO?

Ralph Lauren, Kate Spade, Trina Turk, Cynthia Rowley and Tory Burch come to mind.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FAVORITE GRAY HAIR PRODUCTS?

Yes! I love Christopher Robin’s Cleansing Scalp Scrub and Hydrating Melting Mask. I also love the Davines products – the Minu Shampoo for highlighted hair, the Alchemic Silver Conditioner and Shampoo, and the OI Hair Butter is divine for soft silky hair.

WHAT ARE YOUR ESSENTIAL BEAUTY PRODUCTS THAT YOU CAN’T DO WITHOUT

Let’s see – right now, I have first up in my drawer : IT Bye Bye Under Eye (recommended by you?), Jones Road What The Foundation? (because my beloved Dermalogica Sheer Tint was discontinued), Jones Road Miracle Balm and brush, and Olio Osso Lip & Cheek Balm #2 is always in my bag! 

HAS GOING SILVER AFFECTED YOUR MAKEUP COLOR PALETTE AT ALL?

I am wearing red lipstick, which I really never did before. And I wear a little more color than I did before. I’ve read that you should tone it down when you are older, and apply it with a subtle hand. But when your face is more washed out with age, and your hair is white, don’t you want to add some oomph back into the situation? So that’s what I’m trying to do. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY FORM OF EXERCISE OR PROGRAM THAT YOU ADHERE TO?

Not regularly. I did yoga for years until my teacher retired. And before COVID, I was very good about going to the gym and using the weight machines an hour or two a week. Since COVID? Not so much. 

My goal is to do yoga once a week, weights for upper body strength 3-4 times a week, and walk one day a week. I would love to get back into that routine.

DO YOU TAKE ANY VITAMINS OR SUPPLEMENTS THAT YOU FEEL ARE BENEFICIAL TO YOUR OVERALL HEALTH AND VITALITY?

Yeah – I’m sort of freaky about it. But – knock on wood – I take these things daily and I have not been sick (except for Covid once), since 2019!! I take liquid Vitamin D/K, Zinc, B12, Quercetin, Vitamin C and have just added Lutein for eye health. And I try to remember to put marine collagen in my coffee in the morning or in smoothies.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE CONTEMPLATING LETTING THEIR HAIR GO NATURAL?

Well, I have done it very slowly over years – that worked for me. It was too gray/white to continue to color it, but in my opinion it wasn’t there yet. At least not enough to let it go 100%. I started with a lighter all over color and highlights. And we just went lighter and lighter, for several years, as I wanted it to read blonde, before I went white. I started with it really light around the face and then all over. Now I just have platinum lights put on the dingier spots and will probably give this up in the next few years. That’s a great way to go, if you are too nervous to go cold turkey – over 12 months. Bit by bit. And it can take you 2 years, it can take you 10 years (like  me) – whatever you feel comfortable with. 

 

WHAT GENERAL ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR WOMEN OVER 50 AND BEYOND THAT WOULD LOVE TO BE A SILVER HAIRED RENAISSANCE WOMAN LIKE YOU?

Do as I say, not as I do! 

Don’t get bogged down in minutiae! Do what feeds your soul and do enough of the rest of it to get by. No one but you cares about your cracked front walkway, or your abandoned side porch that needs renovation, in the worst possible way. 

And don’t schedule yourself into oblivion – you need white space on your calendar. Otherwise you cannot take advantage of spur of the moment opportunities that come your way – and honestly those are some of the best kind. A wonderful quote from an article my son wrote – “the most inspiring conversations are had when you should be somewhere else…”  I’m not very successful at these things, but I will never stop trying! 

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF BEING “AT A CERTAIN AGE” AS WE ARE? WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF (Silver Haired Renaissance Woman)?

Listen to your gut. It’s right.

SHOP GRAY’S FAVES

Thank you so much for reading A Silver Haired Renaissance Woman you Will Love. I always try and do a little extra research when interviewing anyone for Ageless Style. I came across this post by Gray on Anne Moss’s Emotionally Naked blog. and if you would like to learn more about Gray read this. In case you missed any, You can find all of my previous Ageless Style Interviews here. Now let’s pop over and see who Brenda is interviewing this month. She always finds someone fascinating.

1010 PARK PLACE